It’s not just basics like milk and coffee that are in short supply in Venezuela. Surprise! The socialist country is now running out of toilet paper. “This is the last straw,” said a 71-year-old shopper.

Now that’s shirty business.

Commerce Minister Alejandro Fleming blamed the shortage on “excessive demand.” Really. Oh, and also, the media. But he claims help is on the way.

But one woman told the Associated Press, “I’ve been looking for it for two weeks.”

Paging Sean Penn. Help a sister out, wouldja?

If Penn doesn’t come to the rescue, maybe Sheryl Crow has a few pointers.