As Twitchy reported earlier, bootlickers from President Orator’s past twisted themselves into obscene pretzels to explain to The New Yorker why his awesomeness prevented him from winning the debate in Denver.
Blogger Ace of Spades highlights the top ten reasons Obama’s pals say he lost.
Top Ten Reasons Obama Lost The Debate, According To His Fans/Friends http://t.co/j5XjaJ7Y
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Ace also took to Twitter to absolutely demolish the claim that Obama was “too professorial” to get through to the drooling dummie-heads in the audience.
Obama is "too professorial" to explain his own philosophy to a crowd? Most professors are capable of explaining *other's* philosophies.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Obama is "too professorial" to speak to a group of people who have assembled to sit and hear information and ideas explained to them.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
WUT?
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
WUT? indeed.
Obama's too professorial to explain what the funk & wagnall's he's been doing for 4 years.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
There's an old religious puzzler, isn't there? "Could God make a stone so heavy even he could not lift it?"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
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Similarly, wrt to the God-King Obama: "Can Obama conceive a thought so complex and brilliant that even *He* cannot explain it to humans?"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
I had to fire my landscaper. He was "too gardenerish" to manage my lawn.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
I got fired from a job because I was too punctual to actually show up on time. I tried to explain I was early, but for the next day's work.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Their puny minds could not grasp it. My Extreme Punctuality was beyond their human intellects. All they saw was that I showed up at 2:30pm
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Another hilariously absurd explanation: Obama’s just too darn authentic.
By the way, I enjoyed the spin that Obama was "too authentic" too fake it up by preparing for the debate and studying.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
I kind of remember trotting that one out to explain away Bush's colossal debate failures, too!
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
"Too authentic too study" is the go-to defense for the dumb, slow-witted, or lazy.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Hah, a commenter offers another Seinfeld/Obama parallel: Obama's excuse for not winning races is "I choose not to run!"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
Good point by @darrenODaly. Apparently Obama's "too smart" to put in a debate performance equal to Bush's worst showing.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) October 6, 2012
https://twitter.com/DarrenODaly/status/254623040355311617
As Andy Levy tweeted the day after the debate:
https://twitter.com/andylevy/status/253935735965634561
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