As Twitchy reported earlier, bootlickers from President Orator’s past twisted themselves into obscene pretzels to explain to The New Yorker why his awesomeness prevented him from winning the debate in Denver.

Blogger Ace of Spades highlights the top ten reasons Obama’s pals say he lost.

Read the whole thing.

Ace also took to Twitter to absolutely demolish the claim that Obama was “too professorial” to get through to the drooling dummie-heads in the audience.

WUT? indeed.

Another hilariously absurd explanation: Obama’s just too darn authentic.

As Andy Levy tweeted the day after the debate: