President Obama’s creepy #ForAll cult won’t admit just anyone. There are standards! And requirements!
Sure, you could tweet a terrifying zombie-faced pic of your Sharpied hands grasping your chest, but not everyone has the clammy looking skin and cold, vacant eyes of Jim Messina and David Axelrod … yet. Cult membership has its privileges, you know.
But no worries. Even if you aren’t the stuff of childrens’ nightmares, there are plenty of ways for starry-eyed Julias, media lapdogs and aspiring cradle-to-grave slaves to pledge allegiance to the creepy flag of Obamerica.
It's a simple test. Here I have a cheat sheet with the correct answer #ObamaCultRequirements pic.twitter.com/p84x1KNK
— 4 More Years (@KQK2) September 21, 2012
#ObamaCultRequirements you think the bloody fingerprint flag is awesome pic.twitter.com/qTmm5Kml
— Bossy Brat (@JGalt09) September 21, 2012
https://twitter.com/kesgardner/status/249006013057994752
#ObamaCultRequirements with no intended irony, refer to a guy "with magical underwear" as a bigot
— Captain Coordination (@KleptoBek) September 21, 2012
#ObamaCultRequirements you must believe that Mary Jo Kopechne was glad to give her life for Ted Kennedy
— (((Aaron “Worthing” Walker))) (@AaronWorthing) September 21, 2012
You must bring your own unicorn. Even if its only in your head. #ObamaCultRequirements
— 4 More Years (@KQK2) September 21, 2012
#ObamaCultRequirements be 13 or older / send 5 Fruity Pebbles proof of purchase in self-addressed envelope to KIDS CULT @ 1600 Penn Ave
— lawblob (@lawblob) September 21, 2012
Recommended
#ObamaCultRequirements You must be willing to sacrifice inconvenient filmmakers upon the altar of Dhimmitude.
— A.J. Winkelspecht (@ajwink) September 21, 2012
#ObamaCultRequirements Repeat: It is not a tax
— David Darnell (@DlorenDarnell) September 21, 2012
https://twitter.com/KentAtwater/statuses/249114082261741568
#ObamaCultRequirements having no face, like #Julia
— Roland le Fartere (@Crapplefratz) September 21, 2012
https://twitter.com/AmericnElephant/statuses/249024536996085761
#ObamaCultRequirements hate guns unless you're selling them to Mexican drug cartels so they can kill American law officers
— Captain Coordination (@KleptoBek) September 21, 2012
#ObamaCultRequirements Know at least five different ways to cook Bichon Frisé.
— opera_nerd_1986 (@opera_nerd_1986) September 21, 2012
Easy peasy cult admission!
Join the conversation as a VIP Member