Yesterday progressive comedian Jamie Kilstein decided that National Review’s Jonah Goldberg condones violence against his people (young-ish hipster douchebags with no idea how the world works).

The melodrama is thick with this one. Some of Kilstein’s fellow hipster Brooklynites might want to freecycle a fainting couch and some fair trade smelling salts just in case he attempts a stage swoon.

Here’s what Goldberg told The Daily Caller:

The fact that young people think socialism is better than capitalism. That’s proof of what social scientists call their stupidity and their ignorance. And that’s something that conservatives have to work harder to beat out of them. Either literally or figuratively as far as I’m concerned.

Oh noes! JONAH SMASH SOCIALIST YOUTH!

Heh.

But wait, this is no laughing matter. Goldberg admits his remarks should be taken seriously.

See, you can tell because he didn’t make use of the widely available Twitter sarcasm font.

More from Goldberg at The Tyranny Blog:

Virtually all of these dufuses and dipwads bleating at me on twitter and in my email box know I wasn’t serious. This manufactured outrage is just a sad way to avoid my argument and distract from the bad news of the day and maybe to gin-up political enthusiasm from the sorts of “youth activists” who are easily ginned up.

Dufuses and dipwads? Okay, now we’re swooning. And maybe fanning ourselves a little.

Meanwhile, drama boy is in such a tizzy that he did what all victimized socialist youth do: he made a petition. And he’s tweeting about it.

Here’s his proposal:

Bullying and advocating violence against people who disagree with you is not brave. Stepping into the ring for a fair fight would be.

This is in no way intended as a threat, instead this is a challenge to participate in a regulated boxing match with rules agreeable to both parties, a referee, trainers and any safety gear.

So a challenge is now on the table. Tell tough guy Jonah to step into the ring with Jamie Kilstein – a 145-pound progressive vegan standup comic who doesn’t take kindly to bullies. We’ll put it on the Internet and start a kickstarter to raise thousands of dollars in prize money that the winner can allocate to their favorite charity.

Hmm. Since this petition says bullying isn’t brave, it’s odd that Dan Savage, heckler of high school students, is pimping it.

Perpetually outraged femme-a-gogue Amanda Marcotte is on board too.

Gosh, with those two joining the “Dufus and Dipwad Show,” there’s no way Goldberg could say “no.”  Literally or figuratively as far as we’re concerned.