Thanks to our media, we now know that President Obama is the first female president to ooze masculinity from his very pores. Historic™ and Unprecedented™!

Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank writes:

Nonsense. Obama is not the first gay president. He is the first female president.

Heck, he even appeared in public wearing a gown.

Wait, so he’s not the first gay president? Someone had better repossess that gay-lo.

And now he’s the first woman to occupy the Oval Office? We can’t keep up with Obama’s shifting gender identities and orientations! Can Obama be all things to all people? Yes he can!

In a New York Times column, David Brooks calls Obama a post-feminist with “ESPN masculinity” and a “version of manliness that is postboomer in policy but preboomer in manners and reticence.”

Barf. Retch. Gag.

So, which is it? Is Barack Obama the manliest of men or the first female president with boy bits?

And really, haven’t we had enough of Barack Obama’s historic firsts? The only “first” we want to hear about is the first gay/female president to get booted after one term.