CNN’s Brian Stelter has a story up on CNN contributor Jeffrey Toobin who is on leave from his cable-news gig after getting caught allegedly masturbating while on a Zoom call with his colleagues at the New Yorker.

But the way Stelter describes it, Toobin “has been sidelined” after an “accident”:

Exactly how does a guy pull down his pants and grab his junk by accident?

“Who among us”?

Stelter needs to look up “accident” in the dictionary:

How soon until Toobin is the victim?

People also aren’t happy with Stelter calling him “sidelined” as if he just committed some small infraction during a sporting event:

And imagine the headline if this happened to someone at Fox News?

Does Toobin not understand how crazy this sound? Like, it’s OK to jerk it during a work call if your colleagues can’t see or hear it?

Stelter is giving this the absolute best spin imaginable:

And there are literally thousands of people in DC right now who can step in and fill Toobin’s shoes:

And we’ll note, CNN knew EXACTLY the kind of person they were hiring in Toobin and they didn’t give a s*it: