The only thing that would’ve made this headline better (as in, more ridiculous) is if it included a “BREAKING NEWS” banner:

22-year-old professional athletes — how do they work?

He was celebrating the team’s 34-3 win over the Oakland Raiders:

Keep in mind, he did get to bed at a reasonable hour:

And people have thoughts:

The next Joe Namath, maybe?

Investigative journalism!

There were mono jokes, too (Darnold contracted mononucleosis earlier this season):