We wish we were making the headline up, but no.

Popular YouTube star Shane Dawson is trending after explaining that he was only joking when he said he had sex with his cat:

This appears to be the cat that he didn’t have sex with:

The cat is a fighter, FWIW:

You may remember Shane as the d-bag who started a conspiracy theory that Chuck E. Cheese recycles their pizza:

Anyway, Shane says he’s learned his lesson and he will no longer joke about such things:

He admits that joking about having sex with a cat is “VERY VERY DUMB”:

OK, OK . . . we get it. You’re really sorry about joking about cat sex:

Now his comedy is so much better without the cat sex jokes because his new jokes just try to ruin a company like Chuck E. Cheese:

But the cat sex jokes haunt him, probably like the Clarice with the lambs:

Who knew apologizing for joking about doing it with a pet needed so many tweets?

And the lesson from all of this? Don’t mess with Chuck E. Cheese. That rat plays hardball: