Finally, some good news from Rolling Stone. It seems that in a slide presentation given to Portland police, someone inserted a copy of the “Prayer of the Alt-Knight.” The image shows a policeman in riot gear beating up a dirty hippie.
REVEALED: Portland Police Riot Training Presentation Included Graphic Slide on Brutalizing ‘Dirty Hippies’https://t.co/5LR9dm2H0K
— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) January 14, 2022
We hadn’t seen the “Prayer of the Alt-Knight,” but it’s pretty good:
And the Lord said…
Woe be unto you, dirty hippy;
For thou stinketh of patchouli and BO;
For thou talk of Marx, yet know him not;
For thou has bills, yet have not paid;
For thou has dreadlocks and white skin.
And so I shall send among you,
My humble servants with hat, and with bat;
That they may christen your heads with hickory,
An anoint your faces with pepper spray.
And once thou hast been cuffed and stuffed;
Once thou has been stitched and bandaged;
Perhaps thou shall learn,
I am tired of your shit.
The good news all of us have been waiting for.
— Fuck Everything (@dougbellfanclub) January 14, 2022
— CapitalsDieHard (@CapitalsDieHard) January 14, 2022
Gonna have to go based on this one
— kue (@thekue20) January 14, 2022
Come on that's just funny
— John Blackfoot (@john_blackfoot) January 15, 2022
I feel like you’re presenting this like it’s a bad thing.
— Vincent W. Gaspacho, Sr. 👊🏻🧐 (@spazafraz) January 15, 2022
— John Doherty (@JohnDoherty064) January 14, 2022
— Brent Casteel (@daddy18880) January 15, 2022
Might be the best news I’ve ever heard come out of Portland.
— Jeff Fithen (@jfithen) January 14, 2022
— Sloth the Third (@ReturnOfSloth) January 14, 2022
What's the sign on bonus?
— syd (@SydneyCarton1) January 14, 2022
To defeat your enemy, you must know your enemy. 🤷♂️
— Rusty (@LieutenantRusty) January 15, 2022
Oh man… I don’t think people are going to be that upset about this one.
— JAS513 (@jas513_john) January 14, 2022
Why are you making me like the police?
— Benjamin (@gobenji89) January 14, 2022
This needs to be updated, but I don't think we agree about how.
— Thomas Paine (@ThomasPaineX) January 15, 2022
— Darth (@thedarthguy7) January 15, 2022
— Jonny Wichita (@Wichita_Jon) January 15, 2022
The world is healing
— Gone Jet Skiin’ 🛩⛷ (@rickinthe403) January 14, 2022
Sanity finally returning.
— Professional Snark (@TakeGrader) January 14, 2022
— F (@dleonard724) January 15, 2022
— Rohan Cassanova (@irishswamp) January 15, 2022
Patchouli smells like ass dipped in failure
— Jeffrey Kofsky (@JeffreyKofsky) January 15, 2022
Assuming the comments didn't go in the direction you thought…
— Not What You Think (@FLOTFW) January 15, 2022
We didn’t see any outrage, but Rolling Stone was probably happy for the clicks.
Residents of Portland discover the law THEY VOTED FOR that curbed the police is not exactly working out how they thought it would https://t.co/pp4kkFKCwM
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) October 19, 2021