As we told you last night, the Met Gala took place in New York City on Monday with this year’s theme of “Heavenly bodies: Fashion and the Catholic imagination.”

And as we told you, that meant a bunch of vacuous celebs dressing up in some sort of odd Catholic role-play. Such as Rihanna as a pope:

And Jared Leto as Jesus:

You get the picture.

Anyway, also in attendance was Jesuit priest James Martin who collected actual “verbatim” quotes from folks he talked to at the event.

Life imitates The Onion once again.