The Guardian has a new piece out today titled, “The men who live as dogs: ‘We’re just the same as any person on the high street'” and it’s every bit as awful as you’d imagine:

There’s nothing that can top this today. NOTHING.

Oh, it’s real. According to the caption, the woman in the photo is the Dalmatian’s “former fiancee”:

And apparently there’s some sort of documentary on “Human Pups” set to air on the BBC. Here’s the trailer:

An excerpt:

In the documentary, we see Tom, AKA Spot, take part in the Mr Puppy Europe competition in Antwerp, a mix of beauty pageant, talent show and Crufts; David, AKA Bootbrush, talk to camera in a leather dog mask; two pups walk through London pretending to wee on lampposts to raise awareness of their identity; and lots of men jumping up for “treats”, barking and wagging their mechanical tails.

When I speak to Tom, he is keen to point out that puppy play is about more than just outfits and surface-level power games: it’s about being given licence to behave in a way that feels natural, even primal. “You’re not worrying about money, or food, or work,” says Tom, who works as an engineer in a theatre. “It’s just the chance to enjoy each other’s company on a very simple level.”

Exit question: What bathroom do they use?