Not content to rest on its laurels after exposing Marco Rubio’s criminal behavior behind the wheel, the New York Times has a new Pulitzer-worthy hit piece on the GOP candidate.

Hold on to your seats, folks, because the New York Times just discovered that Marco Rubio, while paying off student loans and taking out a mortgage to buy his house, bought other stuff, too:

From the Times:

For years, Senator Marco Rubio struggled under the weight of student debt, mortgages and an extra loan against the value of his home totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars. But in 2012, financial salvation seemed to have arrived: A publisher paid him $800,000 to write a book about growing up as the son of Cuban immigrants.

In speeches, Mr. Rubio, a Florida Republican, spoke of his prudent plan for using the cash to finally pay off his law school loans, expressing relief that he no longer owed “a lady named Sallie Mae,” as he once called the lender.

But at the same time, he splurged on an extravagant purchase: $80,000 for a luxury speedboat, state records show. At the time, Mr. Rubio confided to a friend that it was a potentially inadvisable outlay that he could not resist. The 24-foot boat, he said, fulfilled a dream.

So he wrote a book and then paid off his debt and bought a boat? Stop the presses!

But it gets worse. After years of financial struggle, now the Rubios are saving money, too:

The Rubios have taken steps to stabilize their finances in recent years, aided primarily by proceeds from his two books. Since 2012, they have started college savings accounts for his four children, put away at least $150,000, given $60,000 to charity and refinanced the mortgage on their primary home to lower the monthly payments.

Of course, this same story when told about the Obamas comes off differently:

And if only Rubio had the same mastery of financial wizardry as a certain other presidential candidate…

Go home New York Times, you’re drunk.

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