It’s nice to see scientists finally applying their smarts to something useful. Like, how to genetically modify coffee to make it even more awesome:

More from the AFP. Could this really be true?

Brazilian scientists have discovered a protein in coffee that has effects similar to pain reliever morphine, researchers at the state University of Brasilia (UnB) and state-owned Brazilian Agricultural Research Corporation Embrapa said Saturday.

Embrapa said its genetics and biotech division, teaming up with UnB scientists, had discovered “previously unknown protein fragments” with morphine-like effects in that they possess “analgesic and mildly tranquilizing” qualities.

But as satisfying as a double-morphine Starbucks beverage sounds…

…we won’t get our hopes up.