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'Most bizarre story of 2014'? Deranged jockey shot during 'lewd burglary'

Talk about WTF.

Angel Suarez, a 21-year-old jockey from Pennsylvania, is in critical condition after being shot during a truly bizarre home break-in:

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And we do mean “lewd”:

OMG. More from the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Bensalem police say Suarez climbed onto a second-floor deck at the Franklin Commons Apartments on Bobolink Drive about 8:35 p.m., where he masturbated until a woman inside discovered him and called 9-1-1.

As the woman ran to a neighbor’s apartment, Suarez busted through her sliding glass door, fled outside again by diving out her second-floor bedroom window and then broke into another nearby apartment, where he assaulted two people, said Lt. William McVey of Bensalem Police.

One resident grabbed his legally registered gun and shot Suarez in the chest and abdomen. Even then, Suarez didn’t stop struggling until police subdued him, McVey said.

And we’ll end it with this:

Are you sure you want to know what the self-abusing jockey was thinking?

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