One of the worst phrases to come out of the entertainment industry in recent memory has been, without a doubt, 'updated for modern audiences.'
We've seen disaster after disaster come out of Hollywood along these lines, from Amazon's bastardization of J.R.R. Tolkien for its Rings of Power series to Apple TV's similar trainwreck adaptation of Isaac Asimov's Foundation books.
Of course, when it comes to ruining beloved properties, no one holds a candle to Disney. They have reduced the juggernaut Marvel Cinematic Universe to a green She-Hulk twerking for the cameras, turned the Star Wars franchise into a joke with shows like The Acolyte, and well, the less said about what they are doing to Snow White, the better.
Now, Netflix seems intent on following Disney's dumpster fire business model by taking on a new adaptation of C.S. Lewis' seminal Christian allegory series The Chronicles of Narnia, which has been adored by generations of children.
We kind of already knew that this was likely to be a disaster when Netflix hired uber-feminist Greta Gerwig to helm the film adaptations. This week, producer Amy Pascal seemed to confirm most of our fears when she noted to Deadline that Gerwig's Narnia series was going to be 'all about rock and roll.'
Greta Gerwig's #ChroniclesOfNarnia film officially starts filming July 2025 🦁
— Culture Crave 🍿 (@CultureCrave) December 10, 2024
"It's a very new take ... It's all about Rock 'N' Roll" 🎸
(via @Deadline) pic.twitter.com/vNFp5MafZH
Umm ... wut?
It is difficult to determine what Pascal meant by this phrase since she didn't elaborate (nor was she asked to elaborate), but the comment alone raised giant red flags with everyone who heard it.
We need to get this shut down https://t.co/1uooCvxT1S
— The Middle-earth Mixer (@MiddleearthMixr) December 10, 2024
All about Rock “N” Roll.
— Daily Roman Updates (@UpdatingOnRome) December 10, 2024
Narnia.
How can we stop this? https://t.co/bzvmJn81le
Narnia does not need a 'new take.' It has been around for 75 years. The reason the books have stood this test of time is precisely because the original product was that outstanding.
It doesn't need 'updating' by post-modernists who hate nothing more than original authors and their works (especially if those authors are dead, religious, white men).
https://t.co/HqfJlm2iHB pic.twitter.com/bZzkcr9Y0g
— Rob Rimes ⚔ Talking Pulp Press (@R0B_DMC) December 10, 2024
That's a solid prediction right there.
I love the Chronicles of Narnia more than probably any other book series, and I cannot describe how little I’m looking forward to this take. https://t.co/tGfISWag4H
— Josh Hampton (@jsh97p) December 10, 2024
The only glimmer of hope for the films is that Gerwig herself has stated that she is 'very scared' about taking on the project, possibly an indication that she knows how much the books mean to most people who have read them.
But it is just a speck of hope at best, especially in light of Pascal's comments. The more likely outcome is that the films will be perverted to suit a modern agenda and lose everything that made people cherish the books.
https://t.co/EumdR7FGn3 pic.twitter.com/Z5GVZ10TYs
— ReformedDarkAlchemist (@RFMDPaladin) December 10, 2024
Yep. That's what we're expecting.
— Dire Wolf Mage (@Cymatics13) December 10, 2024
Thanks, I hate it. https://t.co/OuGoXF5IbF
— Parker Briden (@parkerwbriden) December 10, 2024
Some people might suggest that it is unfair to judge before Gerwig has even started filming. She and Pascal could alleviate some of the skepticism by assuring fans that they are going to stay true to Lewis' vision when he wrote the Narnia series.
They have not said anything remotely like that. We should ask why they have not. And Pascal's comments make it pretty easy to assume that they don't care at all about fidelity to the original works.
Yeah, cause when I think of Narnia, I think rock ‘n’ roll. https://t.co/ZadDHXuyWq pic.twitter.com/GNGLT5jaHE
— The Girly Nerd (@The_Girly_Nerd) December 10, 2024
Right? Is Jadis the White Witch going to be played by Lady Gaga?
(We know, we know. Don't give them any ideas.)
Lemme guess. She's either a) never read a single book of the Chronicles of Narnia or b) has read them but wants to remove all Christian references from it, effectively lobotomizing, disemboweling, and neutering it of its central message.
— Oscar Von Reuenthal (@OscarVReuenthal) December 10, 2024
Secularism is cancer in its flippancy. https://t.co/iLjyFSegwd
If we had to guess, Option B is what we are anticipating.
…why do I feel like we’re about to get another Snow White situation? pic.twitter.com/uuVrTRcXG0
— Mr. Nomad (@MisunderstNomad) December 10, 2024
It's a fair expectation. It's up to Gerwig to prove skeptics wrong. But we don't imagine she is interested in doing that.
— Swole 💪🏻🥔 (@saynotocreatine) December 10, 2024
You and everyone else, Luke.
She is going to botch this badly, isn't she? pic.twitter.com/4Z8xVVyjyy
— Texas Paladin (@RC_UTSA) December 10, 2024
We shudder to think of what will become of poor Aslan.
Always good when it's updated for modern audiences too. pic.twitter.com/ApzDI6ae1n
— Critically Thinking & Drinking 🧐🥃🧉🍸🍹🤪 (@TheCriticalDri1) December 10, 2024
As we said, it's one of the most nefarious phrases to be uttered in entertainment history
Just ask Roald Dahl.
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