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This is why we can't have nice things: Philadelphia closes all liquor stores in wake of riots


As the country witnessed on Tuesday night, mass rioting and looting took place in Philadelphia during an hours-long crime spree across the entire city. Police arrested dozens of individuals, many of them juveniles, who terrorized citizens and looted retail stores from Apple to Lululemon and more. 


The city's liquor stores were a prime target of the looters, as they were surely just looking for bourbon and vodka to feed their families. Today, Philadelphia reacted: 

'Fortunately, no employees were hurt, although some were understandably shaken,' Shawn M. Kelly, press secretary for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, said Wednesday in a statement.

The decision to temporarily close four dozen Fine Wine & Good Spirits locations across the city was made, Kelly said, 'in the interest of employee safety and while we assess the damage and loss that occurred.'

It was too early, he added, to estimate how much had been damaged or destroyed.

There was more than a little schadenfreude to go around on Twitter in the wake of the announcement. 

Yes, as AOC has reminded us countless times, people only loot because capitalism makes them poor and they have kids to nourish ... or something. 


We're not sure what kind of meat, produce, and bread are stocked in Apple stores and Lululemon, but it sure is funny how no one stole the bags of pork rinds and Funyuns from the liquor stores, just the booze. 

At last check, Pennsylvania's champion of the working man was unavailable for comment on the riots. 

Hey, everything is free when your city is unilaterally run by Democrats, including a Soros-backed district attorney. 

LOL. It is sad for everyone who just wants a little pop because the Phillies made the playoffs and the Eagles are undefeated. 

Philadelphia was barely human yesterday, let alone sober. 


Well, there's one way to look at the bright side. A new cottage industry in Philadelphia. 

Let's see a few more food responses because those never get old. 

We do feel for all those moms with teething babies. 

But all kidding aside, there is a more serious aspect to this. Sure, maybe people don't feel much sympathy for huge corporations like Apple. But liquor stores are generally run by small business owners ... you know the ones who actually are trying to feed their families? And, as we mentioned before, this is a punishment not for the criminals, but for everyday citizens who may just want a nice Jack and Coke after working all day.

As for the looters themselves? Well, it's Philadelphia, so don't expect any harsh punishments for them. 


As of this writing, the Philadelphia Liquor Control Board has not announced when the stores will be re-opened. So, more good news, Philadelphians: you get to drive over to Delaware tonight. Hooray. 

Or, you know, maybe vote for politicians who believe in law and order. 


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