We’ve said it before, but we feel sorry for the poor sucker who pays off her student loan debt the day before some Democratic Socialist president decides to wipe the slate clean and forgive all student loans.

But there’s never a Democratic policy that doesn’t have a media sob story to go with it, so here’s Chad Albright, everyone.

Calling America a prison didn’t win over our hearts, so we decided to read a little further to find the point where we sympathized with this clown. We didn’t get that far:

Eventually, Chad Albright just couldn’t take it anymore. The rejection, the depression, the mounting bills, it became too much to deal with all on his own.

“I had to escape this debtors’ prison,” he said. It felt like there was no other choice. “That’s what America became to me, a prison. So I left.”

Albright bought a one-way ticket to China and boarded an airplane, uncertain if he would ever return to the country he once considered home.

It was 2011, and Albright was 30 years old, starting over in a country more than 7,000 miles away from his life in Pennsylvania — away from his family, his friends, and far away from the $30,000 he owed in student loans.

Did we read that correctly? $30,000 in student loans? So he bought a one-way ticket to China instead? So far we feel this guy is a total loser … but it gets worse. Apparently, he’s still in China, since the interview was done over Skype:

“I was expected to make a $400 loan payment every month, but I had no money, no sustainable income,” Albright said during a Skype interview. “College ruined my life.”

In high school, he read books about the American dream, classics like “The Great Gatsby” and “The Grapes of Wrath.” If he worked hard, it would pay off — that’s what he was always told.

But, Albright said, he now knows those were just stories.

“There was no future for me in the United States,” Albright said. “And the American dream? Yeah, it doesn’t exist.”

Yeah, enjoy the Chinese dream, loser. No, wait, he left China and now lives in Ukraine. And according to USA TODAY, “He hasn’t checked his student loan account in nearly eight years, either.”

“I hardly ever think about it,” he said.

Good point … did he actually read “The Grapes of Wrath”? It’s not exactly the American dream John Steinbeck was writing about there. Maybe he wasn’t college material in the first place?

He’ll probably head there next when he decides Ukraine is like a prison too.


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