As you probably remember, comedian Kevin Hart was set to host the Academy Awards this month, but he stepped down after years-old “homophobic” jokes suddenly “surfaced” on his Twitter timeline.

The Academy fretted. Should it find a new host? Have several hosts? Cancel the whole stupid ceremony? (OK, we made up that last one, but it seemed a plausible alternative.)

The Motion Picture Academy seems to have been doing fine with no ratings, so why not go with no host?

Literally shaking.