America has been on pins and needles since earlier this week, when the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists announced it would be moving the minute hand on its symbolic Doomsday Clock, itself the mother of every tedious PowerPoint presentation ever made.
Today was the big day, and if something felt a little off but you couldn’t quite place it, chances are it was the sudden 30-second leap toward armageddon being felt subconsciously.
The announcement was good news if you’d bet on the minute hand moving closer to midnight. What a shocker.
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) January 26, 2017
The Doomsday Clock, used to warn humanity of existential threats, is the closest its been to midnight since 1953 https://t.co/7auJAtrPHT
— The New York Times (@nytimes) January 27, 2017
The minute hand had already advanced to 11:57 p.m. during the Obama administration, in part because climate change now is factored into the timepiece most commonly associated with nuclear war. Hook up Donald Trump’s rhetorical output to the battery, though, and you’ve shaved 30 seconds off humankind’s commute to oblivion.
“We’re so concerned about the rhetoric, and the lack of respect for expertise, that we moved it 30 seconds,” said Rachel Bronson, executive director and publisher of the bulletin. “Rather than create panic, we’re hoping that this drives action.”
It would have been nice if she’d said that earlier, before several reporters at the press conference dove out the window in existential terror, but there’s still hope for the rest of us.
— sarasmlwd (@Sassafrascat) January 27, 2017
@nytimes so this is news about fake news
— NOT A SAFE SPACE (@DelimaAntonio) January 27, 2017
@nytimes This is about as scientific as using a Oujia Board
— Hercules Armstrong (@hercu_armstrong) January 27, 2017
— Alex K. Porell (@AlexKPorell) January 27, 2017
— Kuff (@bkuff1) January 27, 2017
— Tom Rambo (@TomRambeau) January 27, 2017
@nytimes oh dear god …same line when Reagan was elected and had his open mic Russia bombing laugh…please GROW UP
— Chip Lombardi (@RIred61) January 27, 2017
@nytimes wow better find a safe place
— Constitutiondude76 (@ConstitutionDr) January 27, 2017
It really would be best if anyone troubled by this press conference headed immediately to their fallout shelters and set the timer on the lock for 2025 or so.
@nytimes How is this worthy of coverage?
— Springfield AG (@jkkoonce) January 27, 2017
@nytimes The Doomsday Clock is just another option for liberal winers and haters to go on and on with gloom and doom. Stopwatch activated!
— William R Hall (@bcgrill7) January 27, 2017
@nytimes You guys just keep getting better and better. Wish I had stock in Malox! Pepto, Alka Seltzer, and of course, Charmin
— Mark Hancock (@Huskerado) January 27, 2017
— ANTRacing Motorsport (@ANTRACING) January 27, 2017