As Twitchy reported Wednesday, journalists and political pundits quickly zeroed in on two short paragraphs from a Washington Post article on President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet and adviser picks, whom he reportedly expects to be telegenic and to “present themselves very well” for the role they’re expected to fill.

James “Mad Dog” Mattis seems to be as wild as the Trump administration is willing to get; therefore, the story goes, possible secretary of state pick John Bolton was broomed over his mustache, which unnamed sources said possibly handicapped the former ambassador.

As rumors always do, this one has made it back to Bolton himself, who says the ‘stache stays.

Maybe it was all a test to see if Bolton would buckle and shave, or stand strong for personal freedom.

Eh … that’s the story that finally made it around social media, but again, that was the work of professional reporters employing shorthand liberally, no pun intended. “Donald was not going to like that mustache,” said one unnamed source who asked for anonymity, so yeah, that’s entirely why Trump passed.

Grow a beard? Is that you, Sen. Ben Sasse? The facial hair is looking good.

Let’s do it — as long as the media is having a fit about the number of men in Trump’s cabinet, mustaches and beards all around.

Well, maybe change one thing, but not the mustache.