Not this again …
Oh please make this be fake news, please Santa please. https://t.co/eIDUIVBKbY
— SalenaZito (@SalenaZito) December 18, 2016
Sorry, but it’s real.
WOMEN GO INTO WOODS LOOKING FOR HILLARY… https://t.co/hq341RPUNG
— DRUDGE REPORT (@DRUDGE_REPORT) December 18, 2016
@SalenaZito o my sweet Jesus…
— Aunt Blabby (@Philly_Hoosier) December 18, 2016
Has anyone seen Hillary recently?
I found her. She was setting leftover campaign money on fire Thursday night at a donor event in NYC. https://t.co/UUy6uAtcJD
— John Ekdahl (@JohnEkdahl) December 18, 2016
— TrumPutiNO! (@Jeg_er_her) December 18, 2016
Not only is the Washington Post’s piece real, it’s surreal. Journalists recently made it crystal clear that joking about the president-elect sleeping with his daughter in the White House was a borderline heroic act, but teasing about new folk hero Hillary Clinton roaming the Chappaqua woods like a Sasquatch wasn’t cool at all.
And yet, the Washington Post is going back into the woods, trailing along as Carol and Ellen and Judy and Lew and Andy enter the forest to encounter coyotes, mushrooms, or maybe even the grand prize, Hillary herself — “not a candidate running, but a person walking, and probably also talking.” That’s an actual line from the piece. So are these:
- It was like Al Gore growing a beard after his 2000 election loss.
- “I read this article by Michael Kinsley — he was saying Donald Trump is a fascist, but not in the usual sense,” Ellen began, and as they walked along, the words “corporate statism” and “Tillerson” and “democracy” drifted up into the maples and pines.
- I stood there with my arms wide open and I’m not even a hugger and I gave her this big hug. She had on a beautiful sweater. She asked my dog’s name.
- The Clintons were well shod.
- In the distance, he saw two men sitting too stiffly on a bench. “I said, ‘This is odd.’ It’s more like ‘Deliverance,’ ” he said, referring to the movie.
- The leaves looked like uncombed yellowy hair. That was what they saw now, not Hillary.
If the writer doesn’t expand this piece into a novel which is adapted into a screenplay, there really was no point to 2016 at all. If “The Blair Witch Project” merited a crappy sequel, then why not a crappy sequel to this year’s crappy reboot?
— E (@PocalypseCow) December 18, 2016