Gov. John Hickenlooper writes in great detail about his marijuana use in his new memoir, “Opposite of Woe: My Life in Beer and Politics,” but we don’t think he was high when he picked out his classiest pair of socks to promote the book today.

Is the hair actually part of the socks, or is it some mutation from when Hickenlooper demonstrated his faith in big government by enjoying a delicious, refreshing glass of water straight from the Animas River soon after the EPA polluted it with millions of gallons of toxic wastewater? The water was orange, Donald Trump is orange… Coincidence?

We’re thankful he’s wearing socks (cc: @GeraldoRivera).

That’s not a bad idea. Just as ascetics wore hair shirts as penance, politicians could be made to wear itchy hair socks as a continuous reminder that they’re in office to serve.

Are you feeling the Bern? The company that makes the socks has you covered too.

Finally, bipartisanship!

Are there socks embroidered with Hillary Clinton’s face? Maybe. Are we going to do a search for them?

oh-hell-no