Reporters in the White House press pool following the president home this evening were stunned that a trip that should have taken 20 minutes lasted more than an hour as vehicles everywhere spun out.

Some quick investigative reporting turned up the culprit.

We’re frankly too lazy to check if CNN has dispatched Don Lemon in the CNN Blizzardmobile. Besides, there are plenty of reporters already braving the weather to 1) check store shelves and 2) take their hands off the steering wheel to grab iPhone photos of how dangerous the driving conditions are.

We can’t be sure, but it’s possible that shoppers have resorted to cannibalism. Back to you, Wolf.

If you did manage to score the last carton of milk, there’s the question of getting it home before it spoils.

Everyone drive safely, and slow down.