During his politicization this evening of the tragic mass shooting at Umpqua Community College, President Obama requested that the media prepare a chart comparing the number of gun deaths in the United States to deaths from terrorist attacks to show American citizens the scope of our gun problem.

“I would ask news organizations, because I won’t put these facts forward — have news organizations tally up the number of Americans who’ve been killed through terrorist attacks in the last decade, and the number of Americans who’ve been killed by gun violence, and post those side by side on your news reports,” Obama said, adding, “This won’t be information coming from me, it will be coming from you.”

The president’s ever-faithful servants in the media took the president’s request as a challenge to see which publication could present his majesty with his chart the most quickly.


Zack Beauchamp of Vox, famous for reporting on a nonexistent bridge between Gaza and the West Bank, handed in this entry for President Obama’s art show, and received a personal note of thanks from the president himself.

Sorry, Washington Post. We thought your chart was prettier. We would have liked clearer definitions of “gun-related deaths” and “gun violence deaths,” though. Beauchamp’s chart specified “gun homicides.”


It’s all so much clearer now. These charts were a great idea — please, confiscate all the guns you want.