Pop singer and Nickelodeon alumna Ariana Grande has issued an apology after a security video posted to TMZ Tuesday appeared to show Grande and her boyfriend licking a tray of powdered jelly donuts left on a donut shop counter. Gross, but no big deal, right? Later in the video, though, an employee brings out a tray of oversized donuts, apparently inspiring Grande to declare, “What the f**k is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.”

TMZ called it a case of “fat shaming on a national scale.” As the video went viral, a representative said the singer would not be performing this Saturday at the MLB All-Star Concert at the Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati — because she had her wisdom teeth removed Monday. A written statement has been making the rounds of social media today, and it’s pretty much guaranteed to provide more entertainment than Grande’s entire career so far.

You do have to read the entire statement, because there’s so much to take in. She’s EXTREMELY proud to be an American and loves her “county,” but she’s just so frustrated by the country’s child obesity rate, you guys.

That must be why you just go into a donut shop and pretend to lick them.

Not another leaked video …