New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick emerged for an “impromptu” news conference Saturday afternoon, saying that the Patriots had conducted an internal study on #DeflateGate in a controlled environment and decided there was no better time to announce the results.

In short, Belichick seemed to blame the air pressure inside the footballs on “atmospheric conditions and the true equilibrium of the ball,” as well as the fact that each football has its own characteristics. “I’m not a scientist,” he admitted. “I’ve learned more than I’ve ever thought.”

The winning line of the rambling conference was Belichick’s reference to the 1992 movie “My Cousin Vinny.”

That’s that.