Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady’s press conference this afternoon to address #DeflateGate might not have inspired drinking games and bingo cards like the State of the Union address, but it provided plenty of entertainment as the free world stopped to watch Brady talk about how he prefers his balls. Which are jokes and which are direct quotes? It’s impossible to tell without going to the videotape.

It would be so simple to put a stop to all the ball jokes — if anyone really wanted to.

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