It’s the standard Valentine’s Day dilemma: your partner is dying to see “American Sniper,” while you have your heart set on taking in an amateur college production of “The Vagina Monologues.” If you live near Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts, the decision has been made for you; Campus Reform reports that the all-women’s college will not perform Eve Ensler’s play because it is no longer “inclusive” enough to those who identify as women but do not have vaginas.

A representative from the school’s theater board explained the decision in a campus-wide email:

Gender is a wide and varied experience, one that cannot simply be reduced to biological or anatomical distinctions, and many of us who have participated in the show have grown increasingly uncomfortable presenting material that is inherently reductionist and exclusive.

Instead, students will present their own trans-inclusive version of the play alongside another student-led group “that provides education and workshops for students, including a workshop on how to use sex toys properly.”

One student criticized the theater’s dropping of “The Vagina Monologues” on a campus message board:

I love how people who have never been able to discuss or embrace their vaj-wahs aren’t going to find an avenue here, either, since female-validating talk about vaginas is now forbidden. That’s so misogynistic under the guise of “progress.”

Don’t fret, Canadian readers; the University of Toronto’s Scarborough Campus has a human-friendly production just for you.