Both NBC’s Andrea Mitchell and Internet powerhouse Matt Drudge seem to have come to the same conclusion: if you want any answers from the Obama administration, your only chance is to hope that Jay Leno brings up your question during one of his annual televised chats with the president.

White House spokesman Jay Carney’s indefatigable ability to “appreciate” reporters’ questions while refusing to address them has been hilariously documented, but with all of those phony scandals piling up, both the press corps and the public are less and less amused by whatever it is that Carney does for a living. While our ongoing investigation into Carney’s incompetence continues, we’d refer you to these citizens for comment.

Last Friday’s White House briefing was canceled due to a chance of questions about those Benghazi survivors who say they’re being intimidated into silence, but Carney did at last address CNN’s bombshell report today. It turns out he has no information on the subject.

The briefings do serve some purpose. Carney used one recently to clarify exactly which of the many scandals plaguing the president are the phony ones. What else do you people want?

Get ready for a flash flood of information tomorrow as the man himself steps up to the teleprompter before heading to Martha’s Vineyard.