If you’ve ever guarded the door at a venue where Moby was playing, we’re sorry.

The NRA’s suggestion today that every school be protected by an armed guard went over about as well as a lead bullet. As Wayne LaPierre pointed out, we expect armed guards to be present at banks, so why not our schools, which house something much more precious than money? Because security guards are imbeciles, duh.

Oh, and jack-booted thugs, according to Talking Points Memo.

Exit question: if these jack-booted Burger King rejects are unionized, can we still call them thugs?