Rapper Jay-Z warmed up the crowd at an Obama rally in Columbus, Ohio today with the most obvious rewrite possible of his hit “99 Problems,” replacing the word “bitch” with “Mitt.” Get it? He’s got 99 problems, but Mitt ain’t one.


Although Jay-Z name-checked Mitt throughout the song, the prerecorded backing track happily boomed out “bitch” in unison.

The president told the crowd that he and Jay-Z have life stories that are similar, directly recycling a line he delivered after his September fundraiser at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club.

Jay-Z’s performance left the crowd fired up and ready to go to the polls … which closed earlier in the day in Ohio.


Also appearing on behalf of the president today was Bruce Springsteen, who we’ll credit with taking the time to write an original, albeit horrible, track for the campaign. Sadly, Jay-Z’s lyrical effort today was even outdone by Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker, responding to a constituent.


Beyoncé shows off massive Obama earrings, fashionistas drool; will Bey join Jay-Z and O in Ohio?