UNHINGED: Keith Olbermann Being Keith Olbermann, Casually Wishes Trump Was Assassinated
Aaron Rupar Stunned What Donald Trump Said About Lifelong Devout Catholic Joe Biden
NBC News Reports That President Biden Has Grown Angry About Re-Election Effort
The New Yorker Describes the 'Repressive, Authoritarian Soul' of 'Thomas the Tank Engine'...
Washington Post Writer Back With Another Hot Take on Whiteness and Country Radio
Color Us COMPLETELY Unsurprised: LAPD Task Force Created to Deal with Gangs of...
Media Matters Ari Drennen Plays Stupid, Claims You Need A DNA Test to...
New York Times Reports That 'Raunchy Christians' Are Turning Toward the Risqué
Best Economy Ever, Jack! More Americans Dip Into Retirement Savings to Make Ends...
Democrats Again Defending Dignity of MS-13 Gang Members
WATCH: Video of Nashville PD Physical Fitness Test Is MAJOR Cringe
Sen. Brian Schatz Tells Headline Writers How to Take Donald Trump Quote Out...
SHOCKING NEWS: New Study Reports Woke People Are Likely to Be Depressed and...
It's a Bloodbath (Hoax) Out There!
CNN Obviously Has No Problem With 'Bloodbath' When THEY Use the Word

CNN and Oliver Darcy declared the biggest message from the Biden inaugural was not 'Unity' but...fireworks??

This day has been filled with all manner of messaging, layered with traditionalism, and infused with countless examples of metaphors, according to the giddy press corps.

Advertisement

But in all of this, you should know what the biggest takeaway of the inauguration was not the transfer of power, the call to bind us together as a united country, nor even how fat Gart Brooks has become — nope.

It was the pyrotechnics! According to Matt Dornic, CNN’s communications director, the fireworks set off after Joe Biden’s swearing-in were — important, we guess.

Now look, there have been some really embarrassing examples of the press fawning over the Biden arrival, but gushing over the fireworks display is just plain odd.

Noting the mockery he was receiving Matt attempted to clarify things.

Advertisement

This does nothing to clear things up. How are fireworks going to ”shake our foes” when last year we saw endless riots where the aggressors used fireworks to attack police and set buildings on fire?

But hey, these fireworks in D.C. must have been a big deal — CNN’s Oliver Darcy was deeply focused upon them!

Well okay, maybe not ”deeply” — he was, as usual, more focused on FoxNews. It turns out the programmers at Fox were not properly enamored over these fireworks. In fact, they actually deemphasized the import of these inspiring fireworks, and Ollie was on the case to call them out.

(We hope you are seated for this breaking news event.)

Yep…he sent that out. Fox – DARED – to cutaway from…fireworks. How they remain on the air another day will be a miracle, once the FCC catches the notice of this crime on the airwaves.

Advertisement

Ah, the Darcy Conundrum surfaces — how dare Fox not do something as Ollie is ALSO not doing said thing, due to being occupied with watching Fox, then tweeting about them.

Just understand folks that these were deeply important unifying fireworks tonight. Unlike in 2017, when Donald Trump was NOT praised for his magnificent fireworks display. Instead, he was being accused of having his pyrotechnics spelling out ”USSR”.

Yes, seriously.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement