This day has been filled with all manner of messaging, layered with traditionalism, and infused with countless examples of metaphors, according to the giddy press corps.

But in all of this, you should know what the biggest takeaway of the inauguration was not the transfer of power, the call to bind us together as a united country, nor even how fat Gart Brooks has become — nope.

It was the pyrotechnics! According to Matt Dornic, CNN’s communications director, the fireworks set off after Joe Biden’s swearing-in were — important, we guess.

Now look, there have been some really embarrassing examples of the press fawning over the Biden arrival, but gushing over the fireworks display is just plain odd.

Noting the mockery he was receiving Matt attempted to clarify things.

This does nothing to clear things up. How are fireworks going to ”shake our foes” when last year we saw endless riots where the aggressors used fireworks to attack police and set buildings on fire?

But hey, these fireworks in D.C. must have been a big deal — CNN’s Oliver Darcy was deeply focused upon them!

Well okay, maybe not ”deeply” — he was, as usual, more focused on FoxNews. It turns out the programmers at Fox were not properly enamored over these fireworks. In fact, they actually deemphasized the import of these inspiring fireworks, and Ollie was on the case to call them out.

(We hope you are seated for this breaking news event.)

Yep…he sent that out. Fox – DARED – to cutaway from…fireworks. How they remain on the air another day will be a miracle, once the FCC catches the notice of this crime on the airwaves.

Ah, the Darcy Conundrum surfaces — how dare Fox not do something as Ollie is ALSO not doing said thing, due to being occupied with watching Fox, then tweeting about them.

Just understand folks that these were deeply important unifying fireworks tonight. Unlike in 2017, when Donald Trump was NOT praised for his magnificent fireworks display. Instead, he was being accused of having his pyrotechnics spelling out ”USSR”.

Yes, seriously.

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