However bad your day may be, it's not 'I was attacked by a pig in my own home multiple times' bad.
For one Texas family, that was not the case.
A Texas woman says her family members are beat up after a “very large pig” attacked them and then returned several times for more— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) September 30, 2023
“My whole family's scared, they feel like they're prisoners in their own home, they can't go anywhere,” she said then https://t.co/ftzXwSZlC2 pic.twitter.com/Z0jfrgCKBA
A woman says her family members are banged up and bruised after a "very large pig" attacked them. The family said the pig has come back several times.
"My grandma's being attacked by a random pig. Now my grandpa's being attacked," a 911 caller told dispatch on Monday.
Wendy Goldstein says the pig went after her daughter and disabled parents. She described the pig as 300 pounds, black and white spotted, and was foaming at the mouth.
"My daughter got hurt out here, and then he barreled though, my mom wrestled with him at the doorway, tried to prevent him from coming in, he barreled on through, got ahold of my dad, my mom tried to lay on top of him to crunch him down until the cops got here to get him, he overpowered her and got on top of her. He had her flattened like an accordion," she said.
And things didn't stop there.
Later on, she says the owner came by to try to find his pig and threatened to shoot her parents if they shot the pig.
"What does he expect us to do, to sit there and let his pig maul us?" she said.
Tuesday, the pig was back.
"I'm standing inside my parents' house with a hammer and knife trying to defend myself and defend my family at any cost. I shouldn't have to live like this," Goldstein said.
Goldstien says Animal Control did come out, but the pig ran off after being shot with a pepper ball. Later, it went after her boyfriend.
"My whole family's scared, they feel like they're prisoners in their own home, they can't go anywhere," she said.
Remember this when PETA tells you pigs are just gentle, harmless creatures and it's morally wrong to eat them. They will attack you in your home, multiple times, and run away.
They get what they deserve, and let the hilarity ensue:
Me and my family when the neighbors start searching for their missing pig: pic.twitter.com/zqnWoj2XiS— My Mind Speaks (@A_Lethal_Tongue) September 30, 2023
Invite us over; we'll bring the potato salad.
Listen. Everyone would be eating bacon, pork chops, and ribs!!!— Leslie Wimes (@womenonthemove1) September 30, 2023
And at 300-plus pounds, that's a lot of meat.
I want the visuals because “flattened like an accordion” is a wild image that my brain cannot create in a realistic way.— JANEE RAE💋 (@Still_Bourgeois) October 1, 2023
The entire scenario is a wild image we can't visualize.
😭😭😭 The orcas done called the pigs, and now we got war on land. Phil, where do you be finding these stories?!— Ashlee (@tweetwithashlee) September 30, 2023
It's an animal rebellion! (And in case you missed the orca thing, here's a quick recap). We welcome our new porcine overlords.
30-50 feral hogs guy was the advance warning of the pigopocalypse and we made him into meme https://t.co/CGPjZXd3pm— Shiv Ramdas Official Boye Mafia Spokesman (@nameshiv) October 1, 2023
In case you forgot who this guy was:
Legit question for rural Americans - How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?— Willie McNabb 🐗 (@WillieMcNabb) August 4, 2019
He had a point.
It's true. All of it.
And this was one pig. Imagine several of them.
Lord I’m asking as humble as i know how…PLEASE let that hog come after me 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 https://t.co/t6Do8GZIHp— Hi I’m Solomon (@solomonmissouri) September 30, 2023
We're guessing this ends with a bunch of delicious pork.
Some pigs are more equal than others.
3 lil pigs was pig propaganda https://t.co/Y9dMYEsHHm— Jebus.eth (@jebus911) October 1, 2023
The wolf was framed!
This may be worse. Egads.
When your bacon turns on you. The sequel. https://t.co/9C0urAbolb— Elizabeth F. Evans (@efevans) October 1, 2023
There's a squeal joke there. The squeal-quel.
They're mean and nasty, and caught the family by surprise. That pig got very lucky he found the one house in Texas not awash in guns, frankly.
In my defense I was stoned face and sympathetic until she said flattened like an accordian... https://t.co/mN2wY1r5m4— Nita Bita (@SoOftenImitated) October 1, 2023
Same, Nita. Same.
Pigs have sharp ass teeth. I got bit by a pot belly and she almost got down to bone. I was hospitalized for 3 days, not joking. https://t.co/N5JlxNCPcy— Erin (@erinlynH) September 30, 2023
They can do damage, serious damage.
I laughed till my stomach hurt for the first time in a v long time. Yo imagine calling the authorities like there’s a random pig attacking my grandma in the yard 😭😭😭😭😭 I can’t stop replaying this https://t.co/i8AgHoyCK4— street walking cheetah (@aniscapular) October 1, 2023
Imagine being on the receiving end of that 911 call.
See, this is why I don’t be eating pork. When our piggy overlords fight back, I hope they remember I abstained. https://t.co/N2OUYtwvju— Ninth (not parody... unless🥺) (@TheNinthWonder_) October 1, 2023
Feral hogs are a real problem in rural Texas. They can get upwards of 400lbs. They're an invasive species and they're estimated to be upwards of 3 million of them. They cause billions of dollars in damages to crops and property, often for those already barely making ends meet.— Travis Anderson (@thatguytravisa) October 1, 2023
Again, the feral hogs guy was right.
Aaaaand we're dead.
God bless the Internet, without which we'd never have known about this.
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