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WATCH: Secretary of War Hegseth Talks About Trolling the ‘Pizza Trackers’ (LOL)

AP Photo/Alex Brandon

A while back, when talking about the strike on Iran earlier this year, we mentioned that Papa Johns knew more about U.S. action than Congressional Democrats. That is because of the fact that Papa Johns Pizza had a surge in business from the pentagon, people guessed that something was up. Accordingly, there are a number of social media accounts that attempt to track how much pizza is being ordered at the Pentagon, in order to predict when the U.S. might do something, militarily.

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That led Fox’s Peter Doocy to ask Secretary of War about the issue:

The cut off text:

SECRETARY HEGSETH: ‘I’m aware of that account. I hadn’t thought of just going to the cafeteria. I’ve thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off. Some Friday night when you see a bunch of Domino’s orders, it might just be me on an app, throwing the whole system off. So we keep everybody off balance.’

That is certainly an interesting way to handle it. And, well... in our experience it is rare for cafeteria food to be as good as normal food. Or even edible.

Some reactions, including from accounts that apparently do the tracking (there are more than one):

Solid reaction.

Dude, don’t let that dog eat that pizza! We are reliably told it is dangerous.

(Jokes aside, this author is not a veterinarian, but a little Googling says you might want to read up on the subject before feeding pizza to a dog.)

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Some will say that this video is fake. They would be wrong.

Ugh. That is deeply unsettling.

The cut off text:

That’s psychological ops with a side of pepperoni. The fact that a U.S. cabinet secretary is openly joking about flooding the pizza signal just to scramble the clout-chasing ‘OSINT’ nerds on X is hilarious and also a flex — he’s letting them know that if they think they’re one step ahead, they’re already five steps behind.

Wild if true. 

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Yes.

The cut off text:

Then, one day they learned the truth

That building, was the Pentagon hotdog stand

Please note that we are not fact checking these claims by the peanut gallery. We are just sharing them. They sound reasonable, but we don’t have the bandwidth to check every story being told.

We will volunteer to help, um… dispose of the evidence.

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Deception can be a huge and critical element of warfare. For instance, part of the reason why we succeeded on D-Day was that we successfully convinced the Germans that the invasion would come further north, even creating a fake army, with inflatable ‘tanks’ and with General Patton at the head just to complete the illusion. Reportedly Patton was infuriated that he was not able to lead the invasion, but sometimes that is the price of being a famous general.

This is from an account that seems to really hate Republicans in general and Hegseth in particular but … that’s probably true. Doocy is enough of a patriot that he might have actually run that question by Hegseth ahead of time, so Hegseth would give an appropriate answer. We don’t support that kind of behavior on most questions, but this involves operational security on military operations and, for that, we make an exception. 

So sue us.

Yes, but we think he would approve.

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Okay, that’s pretty funny.

Finally:

*Stifles laughter*

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