‘Hollaria Briden, Esq. & Ally’ is one of the more persuasive progressive accounts on Twitter/X. Briden identifies as ‘we/us’ and if Twitchy is known for one thing, it is for respecting preferred pronouns, even though it can be confusing because Twitchy also uses the 'royal we.'
#Spare🤴— Prince Harry suffered early-stage frostbite, including to his penis, on a trip to the North Pole. He told Charles about it the night before William's wedding, who showed sympathy for his ears and cheeks, but Harry struggled to not reveal the full extent of his injuries. pic.twitter.com/cFqdEQ49NS— Pop Prophecy (@prophecyofpop) January 5, 2023
No, not the royal wee, the royal we as in ‘us.’
Anyway so to respect Briden’s pronouns, we (Twitchy) share with you how we (Briden) actually broke news. We (Twitchy) have looked around and no one else has it. So, without further ado, we (Twitchy) give you our (Briden’s) post:
The short version is it is a letter from Chuck Schumer saying that in the Senate they were banning open flames because ‘[a]n esteemed member of our body has expressed discomfort with these open flames stating, ‘Fire bad, me afraid fire hurt me’ leading to the necessary action.’ This ban applies to candles, fireplaces, lighters ‘or any images on screens convincing enough to fool a five year old.' Senator Rand Paul was reportedly upset because he could no longer light up a joint.
We (Twitchy) are not sure whom this is in relation to and we (Briden) didn’t speculate and …
Okay, we are stop with the jokes, now. Obviously, Briden is a joke account. Nothing wrong with that—in fact, we are fans. We don’t respect preferred pronouns around here and obviously Briden has published a fake letter to make fun of our worst-dressed senator, John Fetterman, who has been compared more than once to Frankenstein’s monster. In this case, Hollaria seems to be riffing off of the late, great Phil Hartman’s version of the classic movie monster:
*pushes up glasses* Ackshually, that was Frankenstein’s monster. ‘Frankenstein’ was the name of the scientist who brought him to life.
(In other news, this author is a nerd.)
On to reactions:
🤣🤣🤣🤣— Ultra Grateful Calvin 🇺🇸🐶🏒 🎶 (@shoveitjack) September 21, 2023
Holly for the win! https://t.co/EamcuTw5zy
In a couple of cases, we are not sure they got the joke:
The Senate has become a bad Frat house apparently. https://t.co/jY8sg2QsC6— The Public Money (Mrs. TPM's Manservant) (@CoryWCrow) September 21, 2023
Good lord. https://t.co/hrpdPwrALh— (((tannngl))) Pennsylvania is lost (@tannngl) September 21, 2023
They really cater to Fetterman, don't they?— RhoQSue (@rgething) September 21, 2023
And one was suspicious:
Has to be satire— 🥛˖ ࣪ ‹˚ 🅲 🅰 🅴 🆁 ˚𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ 🌸 (@EmmaJamesTweet) September 21, 2023
Why would you think that?
And others just had fun:
Honestly parody is sounding more like truth everyday 😂😂🥲— Tiredofitall (@tgert) September 21, 2023
Jokes aside, we’ll say a few things about Fetterman.
First, it makes a mockery of the entire concept of the Senate to nominate a man who clearly is not up to the job. It makes us think of the apocryphal story of Caligula appointing his horse to the Roman Senate. We believe in equal opportunity for disabled people, including stroke patients, so long as they can actually do the job—and Fetterman is not up to the job.
And shame on everyone who kept the facts from the people of Pennsylvania during the last election.
That being said, we can picture some people with severe disabilities having trouble getting into a full suit and tie every day for work in the Senate. Imagine a person as brilliant about government and laws as Stephen Hawkings was about physics, but also with his disabilities. We wouldn’t want to say he couldn’t come onto the Senate floor because of his disabilities. But the best way to deal with that kind of situation is to make an exception, an accommodation, while upholding the dress code for everyone else.
And frankly we find it hard to believe that John Fetterman can’t pull off at least ‘business casual’ attire.
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