'Pro-tip': Andy Borowitz is hilariously unfunny.

Posted at 1:02 am on December 10, 2014 by Jim J.

The only thing funny about The New Yorker’s “humor” columnist Andy Borowitz is the commentary on Twitter his columns inspire. His latest effort is no exception.

wow, Borowitz is on fire with the torture report http://t.co/faxWZhCL2k
— Rosie Gray (@RosieGray) December 10, 2014

“On fire.” If only.

@RosieGray without even reading it, there has never been anyone whose humor is less edgy than Borowitz (outside of David Brenner).
— Sean Quinn (@nachofiesta) December 10, 2014

The main difference is that David Brenner was, you know, funny.

Protip: Borowitz is incapable of being "on fire." RT @RosieGray wow, Borowitz is on fire with the torture report http://t.co/4rglTNUTlH
— jon gabriel (@exjon) December 10, 2014

@exjon @instapundit @RosieGray It's all the asbestos.
— Steve Dominic (@d08890) December 10, 2014

@exjon @RosieGray well are you going to put out Borowitz or watch him burn? #talkabouttorture
— #ICantPlayFootball (@bitingtea) December 10, 2014

@exjon @RosieGray Oh, he's on fire. It's just that what he produces when he's on fire isn't what a funny person would produce
— John Tabin (@johntabin) December 10, 2014

Pages 23-45 of the Torture Report focuses on the CIA's illegal use of #BorowitzJokes. Detainees requested waterboarding instead.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) December 10, 2014

@exjon Followed by audio of Feinstein if waterboarding unavailable
— Diastema Hipster (@KimMarcumTexas) December 10, 2014

@KimMarcumTexas And a Barbara Boxer GIF.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) December 10, 2014

@exjon Those 23 pages are only from the Executive Summary. There's an appendix with a list of jokes that was held back for public safety.
— Brownian Motion (@cobrownell) December 10, 2014

"I wish that Borowitz fellow was edgier." ~ Editor of Reader's Digest "Laughter Is the Best Medicine" column.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) December 10, 2014

@exjon But it IS edgy. He takes NEWS and makes it FUNNIER! Aren't you amused? He made fun of a republican that retired 6 yrs ago. EDGY!
— Miscellaneous Ray (@miscRaymer) December 10, 2014

CIA should redact Andy Borowitz columns.
— Ben White (@morningmoneyben) December 10, 2014

"Oh, Andy Borowitz wrote something funny," said no sentient being, ever, from the origin of the universe to its final heat death.
— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) December 10, 2014

Remember: I have a fever-fantasy about forcing Andy Borowitz to chew his way through a razorwire noose that tightens in absence of laughter.
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) December 10, 2014

Which is to say, my daydream guarantees that Andy Borowitz is reduced in my “Saw" fantasy to a pulpy pile of unfunny meat shreds.
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) December 10, 2014

(I don’t actually wish harm on Andy Borowitz. I just really, really, really hate his column.)
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) December 10, 2014

@BecketAdams Someone was contacted by Support…
— Andrea (@andreanruth) December 10, 2014

Apparently autocorrect switches Borowitz to Horowitz. #ThanksObama
— jon gabriel (@exjon) December 10, 2014

@exjon Weird. My autocorrect changes "Borowitz" to "painfully unfunny hack soaking in his trite mediocrity."
— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) December 10, 2014

Andy Borowitz represents the fusion of liberal sanctimony and dad humour. To my knowledge, this is not a pastiche anyone requested.
— Luke Savage (@LukewSavage) December 10, 2014

Heh.