Listen up, all you liberals cheering the Supreme Court’s ruling on DOMA! Before you get too excited, Bette Midler needs to make sure you know The Truth: this was all just a ruse to take our eyes off of SCOTUS’ nefarious plot to return us to the days of Jim Crow.

You have been warned.

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Bette Midler on SCOTUS voting rights decision: ‘Let’s just turn the clock back to 1859′