#ReasonsCarneyIsLate: Why is Clown Carney late for briefing? Scrawling in his tear-stained diary?

RT @jimacostacnn: Given Carney's tendency to start a little late, possible that briefing and Holder's 1pm newser will happen simultaneously.

— WhiteHousePressCorps (@whpresscorps) May 14, 2013

@DrewMTips @JonahNRO Or maybe just running.

— Lynda Jo Hunt (@LyndaJoHunt) May 14, 2013

"Crom, I've never asked you for help before. But if you don't help me now, to Hell with you." Jay Carney right before presser.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate He's having another secret meeting with select journalists #youknowitstrue

— Amy Lutz (@amylutz4) May 14, 2013

Breaking: Carney found hiding in the West Wing crying in the fetal position #ReasonsCarneyIsLate

— Amy Lutz (@amylutz4) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate He's been on a bender since Friday's press conf and he's still sobering up.

— Rachael (@Miss_Wisconsin) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate He spun the facts so much he got lost.

— Andrew Staroska (@astaroska) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate Literally cannot wade through all the BS to make it to the briefing room.

— Travesham (@Travesham) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate Found one last tiny fragment of a soul that needed eradicatin' first

— Dan Phillips (@BibChr) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate He's putting on 2nd pair of big boy pants

— shelby (@abeesmom) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate Dressing up in his favorite Pinocchio costume.

— James Grimm (@Jggrimm) May 14, 2013

#ReasonsCarneyIsLate Can't remember where "there" is – apparently, there's no "there" there.

— ‾_(ʘȷʘ)_/‾ (@Frank_Turk) May 14, 2013

Pants on fire. #ReasonsCarneyIsLate

— Sean Agnew (@seanagnew) May 14, 2013