The Grammy Awards show will air this Sunday on CBS. But this year, there are a lot of body parts that won’t be aired out on the red carpet or on stage, if CBS wardrobe czars have any say in the matter. The network issued an Onion-worthy memo banning naughty bits, cracks, and “puffy” parts:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

Is it too litte, too late?

Ploy or no?

Former Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger advises: “Keep it sassy, but classy!”


Well, it turns out the same memo was issued by CBS last year. And duly ignored:


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