For some reason, Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher felt compelled today to waste valuable pixels with absurdist condemnations of Twitchy founder Michelle Malkin. He seems rather upset that Twitchy pointed out that Gabrielle Giffords did not handwrite a handwritten note that went viral as an emotional symbol for the anti-gun movement.

Somehow, his mind spun this into the headline, “Conservatives Outraged Because Gabby Giffords Did Not Hand-Write Her Senate Testimony,” as if conservatives were somehow enraged at her condition. He even defended this absurd and hateful characterization of conservatives when challenged on Twitter.

Not content with impugning our motives and reading our minds, Christopher took his reality-detached hackery to another level by unilaterally changing the rules of the English language. According to the new Christopherian linguistic paradigm, the original Washington Post headline that launched this mess was entirely accurate. Therefore, no correction was needed and we are idiots. No, we’re not kidding, he actually did that. Here’s an excerpt.

Following [Giffords’] testimony, The Washington Post’s Natalie Jennings posted a photograph of that handwritten page, with the headline “Gabrielle Giffords’ Handwritten Testimony (Photo),” which was, and is, completely accurate. The photo is of Gabby Giffords’ testimony, and it is handwritten.

Really, Tommy? That has got to be one of the most tortured semantic analyses in the history of man. The implication was clearly that Giffords wrote the note herself, and the emotional impact of her supposed handwriting was the only reason for the photo’s publication. How many closeup photos of typed notes do you see when anyone else testifies? Oh, right … none.

Look, anyone who read Twitchy’s original article knows that we couldn’t care less that Giffords read from a note that her therapist gave her. To assume that we are “outraged” by her inability to write is both ridiculous and downright mean. Our issue was with the fact that the media mislabeled the photo, which leftists then promoted in a cynical attempt to use a Giffords handwriting sample as some sort of mystic talisman for gun control. It became a meme, and when memes are false they need to be corrected. But why let facts spoil the emotional party? Right, Tommy?

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