In today’s White House Press Briefing, Jay Carney embarked on some mind-blowing intellectual acrobatics. Unfortunately for him, he failed to stick the landing. He failed miserably.

Among his bizarre assertions was that when Joe Biden said last night that the Obama Administration was never informed of security concerns at the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, the vice president wasn’t actually talking about the Obama Administration, per se:

We wouldn’t put it past him.

But wait! There’s more! Fox News’ Ed Henry pressed Carney over what the Obama Admini- er, White House knew regarding Benghazi and when they knew it. Carney responded by talking himself in circles:

His attempt at verbal tap dancing concluded with a colossal faceplant. Twitterers couldn’t quite believe what they’d seen:

Well, to be fair, Obama can’t possibly keep up with silly things like intelligence briefings when he’s got so places to gopeople to see, and sweatshirts to sell.

Never let pesky facts get in the way of a good false narrative.

And, lest another day go by without someone else getting hung out to dry, today, Hillary’s number came up. While Carney was madly deflecting attention from the Obama White House, he pointed the Benghazigate blame finger at the State Department:

Hope that wherever Hillary is, she’s wearing her helmet.

He even found an opportunity to blame Paul Ryan for the attacks that killed four Americans last month:

When it comes to funding, yeah, this president fights to make sure that embassy security and diplomatic security is adequately funded and make sure that that funding is restored when efforts on Capitol Hill are made principally by House republicans, including Congressman Ryan to slash it in order to cut taxes for the wealthiest 2% in this country.

And he dismissed Republicans’ efforts to get to the bottom of Benghazigate as playing politics.

Somewhere, Stephanocchio smiled approvingly.

Carney also insisted that “we have always been transparent about what we know.” It’s unclear who he was including in that “we.” (Just him? He and President Obama? The two of them and Biden, the third stooge?) But Carney is painfully clear about one thing: the Obama Administration is most definitely transparent. We can see right through their shameful attempts to cover their tracks in the wake of their monumental lapses in judgment and integrity.

So, what’s next on the hapless Carney’s docket?

With any luck, he won’t have to stand it past Inauguration Day.