Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of the New York Times editorial board. Try the veal! And don’t forget to tip your waiter!

The first debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney, so long anticipated, quickly sunk into an unenlightening recitation of tired talking points and mendacity. With few sparks and little clarity on the immense gulf that truly separates the two men and their policies, Wednesday’s encounter provided little guidance for voters still trying to understand the choice in next month’s election.

This piece is titled “An Unhelpful Debate” and might just be enough to reunite Chris Matthews and his runaway tingle.

But there’s more where that came from.

That scale-tipping moment didn’t happen,” writes Alessandra Stanley in “The Choirboy and the Headmaster, and a Faceoff Without Fireworks.”

And of course, Gail Collins got in on the action.

Spin, fishwrap, spin!

Nom. Nom. Nom.

Coming soon?