Aw, bless his precious heart. Looks like ABC’s Rick Klein spent the summer sneaking clove cigarettes at creative writing sleep-away camp with the other aspiring teen poets. Courtney Stodden’s got nothing on “real journalist” e.e. klein.

The Twitterverse stepped up to offer the Bard of A-BC-von some constructive criticism of his poetic leg tingle for Bill Clinton.

Blogger Ace of Spades generously offered his services as a creative writing coach to the starry-eyed lapdog, complete with hilarious examples of Rick Kleinery. The brutal mockery was a living, breathing organism.

Look out Reader’s Digest poets. Ace of Spades is unbowed. Defiant. Squamous. We may have just experienced a Gloppening.