Great news, college students! You know that student loan rate hike you and President Obama have been whining about incessantly? Well, Congress voted Friday to freeze the rate at 3.4 percent for one more year.

Now you can take out hefty loans to pay for career-advancing courses on “The Phallus” and “The Unbearable Whiteness of Barbie” at Obama’s alma mater and you won’t suffer the untenable burden of an extra $7 a month in interest.

So why the frowny faces?

https://twitter.com/Fem2_Barrister/status/219057315100377090

Aw, you thought preventing the rates from doubling to 6.8 percent could be done with the awesome power of unicorn dollars and rainbow dreams alone?

Next semester, try math courses.

The federal government isn’t an unlimited pot of gold at the end of Obama’s rainbow. Due to previous compromises, the six-month post-graduation grace period for new undergraduate loans will no longer be subsidized. Oh, and beginning in July, Uncle Sam won’t foot the interest bill for grad students while they’re still in school. That subsidy was already eliminated to help fund loans for low-income students.

Surprise!

https://twitter.com/kimberlymunoz/status/218138192560394240

https://twitter.com/laurenINlaw/status/219039527161962496

https://twitter.com/lolprol/status/218776485224382465

https://twitter.com/callistarae/status/218760466321772544

That’s what happens when you blindly take your marching orders from the White House and DNC tools like Sandra Fluke. #DontDoubleMyRate isn’t looking like such a sweet hashtag now, is it?

Next time, don’t screech about passing the bill before finding out what is — and isn’t — in it.