Announcing his client’s impending divorce from Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes’s attorney has declared the situation “a personal and private matter for Katie and her family.” Apparently he has not heard of Twitter.
Adele's pregnant? Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom cruise? This is a big day on twitter people. Batten down the hatches.
— Caterina Scorsone (@caterinatweets) June 29, 2012
TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES DIVORCE! THEIR MARRIAGE FINALLY JUMP THE COUCH!
— DRUNK HULK (@DRUNKHULK) June 29, 2012
Some are sensing a curious pattern.
Dear people shocked about Tom Cruise's divorce: ages of wives at divorce Mimi Rogers (34), Nicole Kidman (34), Katie Holmes (soon 34)
— Omar Waraich (@OmarWaraich) June 29, 2012
More than a few others sense something other than age at work.
You know its hot when even Tom Cruise shaves his beard
— Darryl Purvis (@dpurcomic) June 29, 2012
Hearing the application for the flower girl at Tom Cruise and John Travolta's wedding is now available. #APPLYING
— Deidre Behar (@HerNameIsDeidre) June 29, 2012
Hey, their marriage was strong enough to survive “Knight and Day.”
She must have seen Rock of Ages too… RT @BuzzFeed: BREAKING: Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise divorcing – PEOPLE
— Dan Isett (@DanIsett) June 29, 2012
But their love seemed so real, didn’t it?
The divorce of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has made me lose all faith in sham marriages.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' marriage contract is up with no intent to renew. Oh.
— Kristi Evans (@TwittsMcGee) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally decided that pretending to be in love was 'Mission: Impossible'.
— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) June 29, 2012
The big question in Hollywood is who will Tom Cruise pretend to be in love with next?
— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) June 29, 2012
Groan!
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are splitting up, but they're keeping joint custody of their E-meter. http://t.co/HXZ2fbQz
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) June 29, 2012
Holmes & Cruise divorcing…and you thought JRobert's majority opinion was a stunner! Katie, come join us at Mass anytime.
— Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) June 29, 2012
https://twitter.com/BorowitzReport/status/218756511890022400
Too soon?
I wonder when Tom Cruise is making his next list of actresses he will have his reps contact to date him? Is this something done immediately?
— Ben (@bengoodfella) June 29, 2012
Won’t someone think of the children?
I now have a reason to feel bad for Suri Cruise other than the fact that her name is "Suri"
— Erich Asperschlager (@asperschlager) June 29, 2012
Tom and Katie are dividing their possessions but can't agree who gets custody of their daughter. I guess Suri seems to be the hardest word.
— Daz Gale (@dazgale) June 29, 2012