Oh, our aching sides! This is what happens when you rely on slackers.

Inside the venue, the protest is even more pitiful.

Over/under on the media reporting it as a “huge” protest?

Even the Lefty professors couldn’t get the slacktivists to actually show up.

Occupy didn’t have much luck either with their call to arms.

The “media advisory” bit is particularly hilarious. Quick, media, to the bat vans! A massive protest … of 5 people … is about to start! Mayhem!

You can watch the speech live on-line, if you can hear it through that massive protest and all.