Salon is working extra-hard today to try to convince you not to play the Powerball.

Is it because they want to increase their own odds of winning? Or are they just killjoys?

Either way, they’re super-serial:

Gosh, that does sound unappealing. And also a little familiar:

Aw, snap! Well played.

  • DeplorableMessMan ✔ JesseMessy

    ..”Be careful what you wish for tonight, since 70% of lottery winners are financially ruined within 7 years.”
    …Gee Whiz, Salon, wouldn’t a normal person’s advice be “DON’T ruin yourself financially if you win”?

    • dankbubba

      Salon doesn’t deal in personal responsibility. Better that you just follow the plan laid out for you by the powers that be. Top down totalitarian prosperity for all will ensue.

    • Punta Venyage

      Agreed. Left-wing/Right-wing; Liberalism/Conservatism; Democrat/Republican can really be summed up in a debate of situational determinism vs personal choice and responsibility.

      • DeplorableMessMan ✔ JesseMessy

        …Ummm, did I say anything about political parties? NO, so why bring in #BothPartiesDoIt?

    • Darth Venomous✓unmedicated

      Well, the House of Venomous is already financially ruined, so what have we got to lose…? 🙂

  • lxim

    “The lottery is a distinctive mixture of optimism, superstition & ignorance seasoned with magical thinking”

    Wow! It’s like “Star Wars” with benefits!

    • dankbubba

      Sounds about right for describing Obama’s SOTU. Hell that’s his whole public life and career.

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      “Star Wars with benefits” So does that mean I get to bang bikini clad Leah, in “Return Of the Jedi”? Or at least Olivia Munn who wore the (lack of) outfit even better?

    • Gregor Eisenstein

      I’ve always heard of the lottery described as a tax on people who can’t do math.

  • skypilot77

    I’m 52 an have never bought a state lottery ticket of any kind. But I think the hype of this lottery is fun to listen to. Liberals just plain suck.

    Oh, has anyone told Salon how much tax the government will receive from this drawing.

    It might change their opinion.

    • lCOYAR

      To a Leftist, this would be one of their only tickets out. Because they found out the hard way that a “women’s studies” major do not equate to jobs, that is, if they didn’t drop out beforehand.

      • CVN65

        That is because the patriarchy is micro-aggressing the networking abilities for these professionals in a post-something worldview that minimizes feminist approaches to finance, law and business while attempting to use racist and sexist ideas like hiring the best qualified person for the job or demanding that employment be linked to actual production. Rise up sisters, what you need is your master’s in women’s studies to open those doors. Get your dad or soon-to-be ex-husband to foot that bill and really stick it to the men holding you back. ////////

    • Lamontyoubigdummy

      According to the National Debt Clock? Enough to cover about 1 minute and 48 seconds.

      • surroundedbyidiots

        Ok now that’s depressing.

        • Lamontyoubigdummy

          Put that Debt Clock on the top of your desktop screen while at work and let it run for a day.

          Keep the waste basket handy.

          Cuz you will throw up.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    …optimism, superstition & ignorance seasoned with magical thinking

    With the exception of “optimism” (I’d substitute misery or grievance), that pretty much sums up the progressive left.

    Salon needs to quit making mockery such an easy lay-up.

  • John Hitchcock

    Most lottery winners do lose it all quickly. It’s because they have never had to deal with having a lot of money, so they don’t bother with self-control. But yeah, that superstition, magical thinking, and suspension of reality thing is definitely Leftist.

    • Petrucio14

      He who is faithful in little will be faithful in much. The Bible lets us know that. Most people who are foolish with their money are limited by the fact that they can’t screw up too badly (although many try valiantly to do so). Lay a pile of cash with all of it’s attendant additional responsibilities on such a person and they can crash and burn in a spectacular manner.

  • bedfordthegreat

    If I win, I’m sending a couple thousand to Ted Cruz.

    • ArmchairMike

      If I win I am going to run for President and hope like hell i lose.

  • HiltonHead_Dude

    Sad when they think playing the lottery is wrong, but want government handouts for all. Idiots.

  • ButteryWench

    If a liberal wins tonight, we’ll get to welcome a new conservative to our fold!!

  • ArmchairMike

    Drooling fucking mumbletards

  • marcus tullius cicero

    …Liberals hate everything that is normal and fun!

    • Meowbius

      Do you photoshop? Can you please change those silly, offending pretend earrings for something that a sensible, intelligent woman would wear?

  • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

    I for one, am more than willing to take the chance of financially ruining myself. Since I’ve been through two bankruptcy’s and three bouts of homelessness, I figure I’m experienced enough to deal with it. I also figure that since I HAVE gone through that, I’m able to be in the 30% who don’t. So when I win, the pizza and beer are on me, all my Twitchy family and friends!!

  • Zhytamyr

    I hope that liberalism never goes away. What would we do without humorless scolds to suck the joy out of everything?

    • Petrucio14

      I’d like the chance to try living without them. On the off chance that I do win, I’m growing a large black mustache on which I can twirl the ends and sneer at them.

      • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

        Are you going to wear the black stovepipe hat and black cape too? Cuz that’d be really COOL!!

        • Petrucio14

          Snively Whiplash is my template. I shall emulate him with panache. I’m already pretty good at imitating his nasal ‘nya-ha-ha’. Little Nell is in big trouble as soon as I find a sawmill!

          • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

            Tell Horse I said hi, when you see him, OK? Thanks.

          • CVN65

            You’d be able to build one just for that one purpose…

      • Zhytamyr

        I would wear a black top hat/suit, tie widows to train tracks, and I too would need jumbo economy size containers of mustache wax.

  • DaveInIA

    I dunno.. could it be that the majority of lottery ticket purchasers are poor people who don’t know how to manage their finances?

  • Tom

    Dang, how come every time I stop for a cuppa coffee, the long lines for lotto tickets, especially where people are buying large numbers of tickets, the buyers appear to be the people who can least afford to waste money on frivolity?

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      Because they are the same people who believe preezy Felon’s gonna pay their house payments for them, give them free medical care, free cars and unicorns as pets. Oh and reduce black on black crime by taking guns from cops, make peace in the Middle East by giving Iran nukes, and believe Shrillary was a great SoS who thoroughly cowed Putin. But you knew that, right?

      • Petrucio14

        They are the same fools who discount the fact that none of that came true, blame Republicans for preventing it, and fully anticipate that Bernie or the Hildebeast will be more successful. And they vote.

        • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

          And believe Shrillary will cure Alzheimer’s (if she remembers to), Weird Uncle Joe will cure cancer by molesting it, and preezy Felon will defeat ISIS by giving nukes to Iran.

  • Stephen

    Considering the people who play the lottery religiously barely have a pot to piss in, I could care less if they go broke. They won so who cares. Anyone with a brain in their head knows you immediately hire the best damn tax attorneys money can buy.

    • Richard Jefferies

      Hey at least those people dump that money right back into the economy and feed some hard-working people’s families for a while.

  • Mary Mommy Happy 2017!

    Don’t these leftwing idiotic unintelligent nitwits understand how the real world works?

    • Stephen

      No. No they don’t.

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      Hiya Mary Mommy, WOOT WOOT! Keep the HOT new avatars coming, PLEASE and THANK YOU. I hope all is well with you, Adam and hubby.
      These morons live in their own little fantasy world that hardly ever intersects with ours. They have hot and cold running root beer on tap, bacon cheeseburgers grow in the wild, and this very nice lady in a starched white uniform and sensible white shoes comes by every four hours with a “magic Pez dispenser” to keep them happy and calm, in that world with locked doors and where nothing sharp is ever allowed.

      • Mary Mommy Happy 2017!

        Aww! Thank you Donald. ♡

        We are doing awesomely good today. I’m feeding Adam macaroni and cheese. Then take him a bath.

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      Oh, and I meant the “WOOT WOOT” in the most respectable way, but you knew that right? <3 <3 LOL

      • Mary Mommy Happy 2017!

        No worries sweetie! ♡

        I appreciate the good comments that make me feel good with trying my hard best to keep in shape. 😉

  • Bella Pelosi

    1.5 Billion. If I win, I am buying Salon, and burning it to the ground

    • Ethanery

      Heck, with Salon’s ratings, you’d probably have 1.49 bil left

      • Darth Venomous✓unmedicated

        More like $1,499,999,998.50…

    • Richard Jefferies

      Beat me too it.

  • FaithColeridge33

    Stupid before a win stupid after a win. I’d wait months before I claimed the prize. Wait for some hype to die down. Have a tax attorney and investment firm lined up. Have a safe house that no one except my immediate family would know I lived there. Hire someone to pick up and answer any mail at my previous address. I wouldn’t read a single sob story. I’m a lot of things that aren’t very flattering but stupid isn’t one of them.

    • Petrucio14

      I’m practicing being mean in anticipation of winning. All rich people are mean, aren’t they?

      • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

        Only because they’re sick of all the libtard freeloading friends and relatives AND the government begging for handouts and taxing their wealth two, three, six, seven times over.

    • adbj102

      If I win it………..I promise to buy a ticket…….someday!

  • Dan Abbett

    Anyone who can blow 1.5 billion dollars in seven years deserves to be broke.

  • ProfShadow

    Guess someone at Salon bought a few tickets and is trying to discourage the competition.

  • surfdog

    It would be possible to give away that much money in a lifetime but almost impossible to find enough things to spend it on .

  • TexSizzle

    My mother refers to the lottery as the stupidity tax.

    • Suzyqpie

      Your Mom is brilliant and an excellent purveyor.

  • Frogmouth

    I’m already broke. I’ll take my chances with the lottery money.

  • Frustrated Teacher

    Salon – dedicated to destroying EVERYTHING that is truly good and fun in our country…

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      You spelled Liberalism wrong.

      • Frustrated Teacher

        They are just one of the tools of liberalism…true.

  • Benji0804

    I really do want to win the lotto, that way I can show the public how the rich avoid taxes by setting up “charities” to avoid paying taxes along with influencing elections
    with groups like media matters.

    • Suzyqpie

      I hope that you win. I look forward to hearing about the philanthropic gratuitous endeavors of the Benji804 Global Initiaitve.

  • Suzyqpie

    The GA lottery ostensibly goes to fund college. Neal Bootz summed up the lottery in GA very succinctly. The lottery is the rare occasion that the poor subsidize the rich.

  • MrApple

    Ummm…YES, yes I do.

  • John Howard

    Anyone who wins $700,000,000 cash-out from this would really have to work hard at becoming financially ruined to pull it off.

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      Not if they were in Congress.

      • John Howard

        You ever hear of anyone in Congress spending their OWN money on anything?

        • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

          Good point.

      • soxfan4evah

        If they were in Congress they could turn 700 million into about 7 billion just from “cattle futures”.

        • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

          No, that’s Shrillary’s gig, Congress could waste 700 mil before their first cup of coffee was gone.

    • Wonder Pony

      Two weeks in Vegas and I would be right back where I am now….But I would fly you in for the party of a lifetime brother.

    • Richard Jefferies

      Yeah, that would be like the Brewster’s Millions challenge. You’d probably make money just trying to spend it. I mean, I know it can be done, but as you said, you really have to work at it.

    • Girl who talks with her claws

      Obama could do it.
      Fortunately, he will always have the pittance of a pension from us to fall back on.

  • Cärlös Dängër ✓certifiable

    Can’t really argue. Lottery is for people who are bad at math. And historically, if someone who is poor and can’t manage their money wins the lottery, they just end up blowing it and end up remaining poor and dumb. If a sensible person wins, it really doesn’t change things as much as you’d think. But heck, play if ya wanna.

    • Girl who talks with her claws

      It’s the best proof that throwing money at the poverty problem solves nothing.
      Money is only valuable to a person if they worked for it themselves.
      People who can’t manage little money really can’t manage big money.
      It really shouldn’t surprise anyone when a lottery winner blows it all or puts it all up their nose & ends up dead or back on the street.
      Maybe the Obamas could teach them how to live big on found money & not end up dead.

  • GV Hayes

    There are about 3 million other prizes, other than the top prize. Salon, lighten up you uptight parent!

  • Would You Kindly…

    I broke down and bought a couple of tickets. I felt like a complete idiot, but it is neat to have a ticket with a stated jackpot of $1.5 billion.

    • Security Mom

      Same here. A ticket or two is just cheap fun. The craziness is in the people who buy buckets of tickets and call it an investment.

  • Wonder Pony

    I got one ticket because as a Gamer, I could never look in the mirror again if I did not join the biggest Game of all time.
    Win or lose, I’m always in the game.

  • dwsmokin

    This is the same mentality that wants to “redistribute” the lottery pot. They simply do not comprehend that the risk/reward of gambling is the appeal. Without a big payoff, nobody buys a lottery ticket. And the bigger the payout, the more people buy. Good grief. this is Human Nature 101 stuff, and these idiots can’t understand it. Not surprising, the left has made a career out of denying certain elements of human nature.

    • Wonder Pony

      You are absolutely right. I take risks…That is gaming. So Though I normally ignore these things, at 300 million to one, that is a risk I could not ignore. $2 to play a game? I’m in.

  • keyboard jockey

    They hate it because it brings about social cohesion you are supposed to be divided not united. We are all playing together with the same goal. America we’re going to make someone(s) wealthy tonight, and there isn’t anything the government can do about it even after they take their tribute in taxes. They hate it because it’s something traditional America enjoys. Just like they hate everything traditional America enjoys.

  • globalcrap

    My first donation will be at Saint Jude’s Hospital. Then my Christian Church , then all my relatives and Patriot friends. No liberals need apply for a free handout.

    • Deplorable AMERICAN™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I talked it over with my boss, today, since I sell lottery tickets… We both would take the annuity, it’s guaranteed income for 30 years, there are less taxes taken out, and it’s guaranteed not to be spent within the first year. My husband and I live extremely modestly, by the way, and so I said that if I won, I would take what I could live off of comfortably for a year, and then pick 20+ charities (the annual payment we calculated based off the 800m payout was 23.6m a year) and give 1m to each one. After making sure my family was settled, of course. When the next year came around, same thing. I figured by the time the 5th year of the annuity came around, what I’d be giving away to charity would be interest earned off of the principle. Which means more money for charities. I have no problem giving away 90% of that payout to people who need it… and it’s over a 30-year period. I could choose a charity I really like, and donate 1m every year for 30, donating 30m total. Just to one charity. I’m talking 20+ charities every year for 30 years. Doesn’t that sound like a pretty good idea?

      But of course, never happen.

  • Rossi Herbert

    * Solon * (D)uh’s urge You not to Win, because You will be self sufficient, in control of your & others well being. In lieu of struggling Cattle, co-dependent on (D) subsides !

  • Richard Jefferies

    I’d take a couple of million and buy Salon and put them out of business.

    • Deplorable AMERICAN™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Not worth that much…

      $50 bucks.

    • Girl who talks with her claws

      Buy the place, turn it into something that requires actual work, and tell the slackers they can stay if they’re willing to work hard enough.
      They’ll leave skidmarks on the floor on the way out.

    • Dan13

      Or, you can invest nothing in Salon and wait six months…

  • JohnFLob

    How many of that 70% were/are subscribers to Salon?

  • Girl who talks with her claws

    Hopefully the only time I will agree with salon, but for different reasons.
    I don’t play the lottery. I play the Coke machine because I’ve got at least a 50/50 chance of winning with the pop machine.

    • Cärlös Dängër ✓certifiable

      I expressed my lack of outrage below. I figure my chances of winning the lottery are essentially the same whether I play or not – so I don’t. I’m very pragmatic that way.

      • Girl who talks with her claws

        If I really want to get on a high horse about it, I rather dislike the lottery. It dangles a carrot in front of the noses of people who can’t afford to part with their money, and gives them just enough hope that they will contribute their last few bucks to the government instead of using it to stay alive.
        It should be the darling of the Leftists for its ability to steal from the poor and give to the rich.

        • Cärlös Dängër ✓certifiable

          Thanks for being brave enough to express my sentiments in the midst of this oddly pro-lottery crowd. I defend anyone’s right to participate, as it is a purely voluntary action, but I think it appeals to and exploits unrealistic hope. There are the people who buy occasionally “for fun”, which I think is a different animal, but to me it’s just throwing money away.

          • Girl who talks with her claws

            I hadn’t read down far enough to realize the prevailing sentiment was pro-lottery.

      • Dan13

        I invested $2. I didn’t know they changed the odds by adding numbers.

        • Girl who talks with her claws

          For every ticket purchased, they crank out at least one more, so your odds are crappy no matter how many tickets you buy.

  • miamihurricane101 .

    Even still……. I saw a woman who won 10 million bucks. After 10 years that was true she had no money left. HOWEVER during that time she bought herself and her relatives, sister, mom, houses, cars and furniture, etc. So, yes, you may have blown that cash but if spent even reasonably correctly you and the people around you should have some nice gear. ANYWAY, it still beats a project rat hole in NOBAMAVILLE with a food stamp card for 10 years! She said she had no regrets and had a ball hooking people up for 10 years.

  • Rick Owen

    Wow. What a revelation. Even in something so obvious, liberals are IDIOTS. The reason why these poor fools who win the lottery lose all their money is because they’re irresponsible, not because they’ve won the lottery. Liberals consistently ignore even the concept of virtue.

  • ElfPool Stormtrooper

    Well I agree the lottery is highly debatable when you see it as a taxpayer scam that state and federal governments get their fair share … But then again, you’re not forced to play now are you?

  • Keys Man 70

    In other words: How dare you dream.

  • Econ4dummies

    Funny that they don’t even realize they just destroyed the liberal narrative about the rich getting richer. They just showed that people move in an out of the top 1% and it is not a static group

  • ThewlynOh ✓certifiable

    poverty, destitution, financial ruin – that’s what happens when STUPID PEOPLE win the lottery…

  • GulfPundit

    Because only the Left knows how to blow a billion dollars on nothing.

  • Jerry Shelton

    Hey I play the lotto last night. 10 bucks for a shot at 1.5Billion not bad. The only other way to get something like that is to run for federal office.

  • robert anthony

    “The lottery is a distinctive mixture of optimism, superstition & ignorance seasoned with magical thinking”

    Hey, that’s how we ended up with Obama!

  • robert anthony

    “The lottery is a distinctive mixture of optimism, superstition & ignorance seasoned with magical thinking”

    What is it for those who win?

  • Steve Muckler

    The lotto is nothing but another gubmint scam designed to segregate residents from more of their cash. It’s bankrolled to a large extent by welfare recipients who are desperate to return some of that cash to Uncle Sugar.

  • spaceycakes

    I do like the Shirley Jackson mention…

  • Oscar

    The lottery is one of the few ways of getting the welfare sector to pay their fair share of taxes.

  • Wanderer

    That just goes to show you that ~70% of people are stupid dolts who wouldn’t know what to do with the money.

    Life gets a little easier to understand when you accept that fact.

  • JCS

    Some people play the lottery BECAUSE they are financially ruined; bad decisions don’t care how much money you have in the bank.