We’re movin’ on up!

Today, we got the sad news that Obamacare “repair czar” Jeffrey Zients is on his way out. And he was doing such a great job, too! But there’s a light at the end of this tunnel, America, for you see, the Obama administration has reportedly appointed a worthy successor: Kurt DelBene — a Microsoft exec.

All together now: What could go wrong?


Good question. Let’s take a look:

And that, ladies and gents, is what we call a win.


Roger that.

  • thedumbblonde

    That shop is a thing of beauty.

  • walterc

    On the upside, I don’t think rebooting Obamacare to get it to unfreeze is such a bad thing. Or at least boot the idiots that built it in the first place.

    • digitalPimple

      System Properties> Obamas’ Performance Rating> 0.1

  • E L Frederick

    At least it isn’t Packard Bell (Healthcare) Navigator

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Note to Kurt DelBene:

    Can YOU say “Poisoned Chalice,” neighbor?
    I knew ya could!

  • Tom Armstrong

    Considering that the Healthcare system is Obama’s baby, the new exec has chosen to use Windows ME as the operating system. Yep, that ought to work just fine.

  • sueanneh

    And Bill Gates is running our education system. His takeover is almost complete.

  • Canadian in USA ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    And this is an improvement?

    • John Smith

      Probably the BSOD is embarrassed to be in the same photo context of that [email protected],

  • marcellucci

    Skynet becomes self aware in 3…..2…..1……
    Human healthcare problem solved…..

    • tops116 ✓Quipper

      It’s a more honest death panel, at least.

  • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

    Bringing in Kurt DelBene is like taking a new car salesman into the garage to rebuild an engine. Sebelius wins “Dumbest Manager of the Century” award.

  • waltermitty2012

    For only $49.99 you can upgrade to the new Microsoft Healthcare 2014.

    • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

      Good one, but move the decimal point one place to the right (per month!! :-)

      • tops116 ✓Quipper

        Yeah, $29,99 would actually be affordable, and affordability has nothing to do with Obamacare.

  • vcferlita

    “Do you want Healthcare.gov to be your default healthcare?” NO.

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      Locked. Default.

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    Oh, but I thought the website was fixed. After all, it “works for the vast majority of users.” Guess they shouldn’t have declared “Mission Accomplished” a couple of weeks ago, huh? 😉

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      Clueless wonders they are….
      As in can we say that they only know the platform of train-wreck versus a PC and Mainframe.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    So, between the two former Microsoft Executives, Kurt DelBene – former Pres. of Microsoft Office Div. and his wife and Washington Congresswoman Rep. Suzan DelBene – (D), [ former Director of marketing and business development for the Interactive Media Group, marketing and sales training for Microsoft’s Internet properties, and other business development product and product management roles with Win95 and IE Web browser software at Microsoft from 1989 to 1998 ] …

    We ask the very, very, serious REAL question:
    Will they be the COBOL Architects, Programmers, Analysts, Technical Leads in the build of the Mainframe backend of HealthCare.gov?
    We hold our proverbial breath, Not!

    • digitalPimple

      Windows Me – I believe thats Obama’s favorite version.

      • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

        Got cha’ on the ME …ego sick0…for sure…if Gates had done Windows0…LOL.
        Barry is hoping for “The Fix” and its not with Microsoft or the people of Microsoft.

    • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

      Their Risk Analysis offramp is PayPal. :-)

      • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty


  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Who’s idea was it to get the Microsoft guy to fix a site run on Apache?

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      They are grasping for something that just isn’t there. They are absolutely clueless.

      • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        He’ll spend months trying to get IIS7 and Active Directory to work..lol

        • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

          It’s funny, yet sickeningly verrrrrrrry pathetically sad.
          See what we wrote to the digital pimple, above.

    • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

      Sebelius thinks a Relational Database is eHarmony.com :-)
      [HT to whoever…]

  • Rory Oldham

    Bring back Clippy !!!

  • ElDerecho

    Caleb Howe just won the internet.

  • digitalPimple

    Hopefully he will implement Ctrl-Alt-Del so people can exit out of this horse-sh)t all together.

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      ctrl alt del, is what they’ve already done to us. They are grasping for knowledge that is just not there. They’ll take anything at this point.
      The backend hasn’t even been touched on the build, and with almost 40 years in Mainframe world we’d be guaranteeing they won’t be able to find the folks, an expert team to build the monstrosity, either. We shared the same sentiments with our Congressman’s office as well.

  • Chevypowered

    I’ll wait until the MS-DOS version is released, thank you very much! Oh it will come back, just like mix tapes!

    • nickdqwk

      Remember 8-track tapes and the matchbook. I got to go listen to some Dr. Hook now.

  • Macharius

    At least its not Apple, we’d be paying 83 Million a year for them to “upgrade to the new version of Obamacare” along with having to pay a fee to have our insurance be “upgraded” into the new system (because its only compat with ObamaX 2.167 (April release V 2.3). Now we’ll just get viruses and confusing error messages, also a welcome screen that looks suspiciously close to what apple does, except more colorful and about half as useful.

    • Republicanvet

      Would that be the OnesieLeopard version? Or the UnicornNostril release?

  • DaMello ®

    Think “Vista”… then shudder!

  • Republicanvet

    President of the MS Office division? Great. The clicks to enroll in 404Care will have at least tripled. “Do you want to enabled editing?” “Do you want to enable content?” “Are you sure?”

    Enrollee’s will have to switch to medicare in the middle of the process it will take so long.

  • Republicanvet

    Would you like to use the Troubleshooter?

    For those that have, you KNOW how doomed this effort will be.

  • Walter Sobchak

    Microsoft + near-unlimited government money = a singularity of bloatware that will swallow the entire interwebz.

  • CobraJet428

    A problem I see w/MS doing the repairs is that sending the application will take a combination of pressing 11 fingers at once.

  • Dinobot

    When you pressed CONTROL-ALT-DELETE to reboot Healthcare.gov, the system will automatically charge your bank account for your error.

  • TDS

    And I posted this BEFORE the announcement on another Twitchy page…

  • blg_wv

    It’s only our money. . . .
    “What difference does it make!” hc

  • DC is Evil

    “Oh, I see the problem — you guys didn’t use Frontpage97 to build this.”
    –Kurt DelBene

  • therantinggeek

    Problem solved, folks! I’ve installed the latest version of Debian on their servers!

    …Oh, wait. I forgot. This is Microsoft we’re talking about, and they’re anti-OpenSource. Oh well. *sigh*

  • GaryTheBrave

    Healthcare dot gov will eventually be programmed in BASIC using an Altair 8800.

  • Socialism is Evil. Organized.

    I’ve found knowledge to be my edge and this a useful tool for staying sharp: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0094KY878