As Twitchy has reported, the much-heralded Obamacare signup sites are proving to be nothing less than a giant festival of fail. But surely that’s not due to the government’s unpreparedness or all-around incompetence, right? Surely more nefarious forces must be at play:

https://twitter.com/PowhatanTribe/status/385016556922482688

“Semen Donor.” Sounds like someone who really knows what he’s talking about.

***

Related:

Surprise! Obamacare health insurance exchange websites don’t work; HealthCare.gov a total mess

Hilarious! DNC touts ‘what affordable care looks like’; Citizens: Fixed it for you, DNC! [pics]

‘So much for security!’ Health insurance websites continue ‘head desk’ fail

Online adventures with Obamacare: Reps admit ‘known’ security bug, but ‘please be patient,’ guys

Oops! California’s health insurance exchange: It’s you? And spelling is hard [pic]

Heckuva job! @HealthCareGov shamed into apology after touting glitchy O-care website

Getting worse! Fed marketplace, state O-Care exchanges: Guys, you can ‘keep’ errors [pics]

Reach for the stars! Connecticut Obamacare enrollment exceeds baker’s dozen in 3 hours

  • Republicanvet

    Those Koch brothers. Always good for a laugh.

    • Jill

      Libs conveniently forget their children’s charities, internship programs, support of Nova/PBS, etc whilst lambasting them.

      • http://macsen573.wix.com/overdrive Macsen Overdrive ✓re-rolled

        The left would call it indoctrination. Nevermind all the images from the 2008 campaign of children acting like storm troopers in support of Obama.

      • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

        Absolutely, that is the double-dealing insanity of the left, the purest of hypocrisy. They cannot accept responsibility for their actions, nor will they allow themselves to be held accountable.

        Everything good (in their eyes) has to be from the lefts activities, and all that is bad from everyone else.

    • BlahBlah

      They R in ur computers eateding ur fontz.

      • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

        I maed u a helff caer but teh computer eated it.

    • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

      Just like I expected yesterday to happen, only a lot sooner, is the left to begin proclaiming the tea party/hackers/terrorists had caused the system to crash.

      The left cannot accept the simple fact that they have failed, and need to find someone to blame.

  • Stupid Republic

    This from the same group of idiots that says TPers are too stupid/ignorant/uneducated to operate a computer.

    • LinTaylor ✓vitrified

      They’re also the people who insisted George Dubya was both a chimp in a suit and an evil mastermind plotting to kill Democrats.

      • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

        Its the ultimate form of propaganda:

        Craft a message so that it covers the largest number of listeners, and that each person who is angered over problems in their life, due to their own choices, can find a reason to blame another person as the ‘source of their problems, he/she/they are holding me down.’

        Liberal mindset is the ultimate insanity of refusal to be accountable and responsible for ones own choices in life. They are preaching anarchy in its purest form.

    • TYPE O NEGATIVE

      Came to say this. They double talk when it fits their need

    • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

      The double-standards are amazing:

      Tea Party are hicks, uneducated, unthinking brutes
      Tea Party are cunning, manipulative, geniuses who are terrorists and hackers

      You cannot be both, and as usual the left had demonstrated they know or care nothing about the truth, only the message and image generated by their propaganda and lies.

      • TexSizzle

        If not for double standards, liberals/progressives/Democratics would have no standards at all.

  • Republicanvet

    Ha. I made my comment above without reading the twits.

    • Jay Stevens

      Tweets or twits? Or in this case is there a difference?

  • philips66
    • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

      The tea party is far from dead, and any low-information voter of the left who actually dares to think only needs to ask themselves this:

      If the tea party is ‘dead’ then why are the Democrats still hounding and demonizing the tea party harder than ever? Why is the left so afraid of the tea party?

      If they bother to do this, in honest contemplation, they will be on the path to enlightenment and opening of the truth.

  • Steve__Jacobson

    Have to wonder what color the sky is the leftists world?

    • rosetta_stoned

      Dark brown. With a really bad smell.

      • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

        …And don’t forget the utopian glittery fairy dust that they sprinkle on it when they finish…

    • Deborah Hallsted

      It’s all rainbows.

    • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (the true one)

      Remember, they claim to be the only color-blind people in the nation. So they see everything in 50 shades of gray, and practice it too…

  • Republicanvet

    With=without

  • ObamaFail

    Seriously? Are libs this pathetic and so in love with Obama that they refuse to accept that maybe his healthcare law isn’t all it was cracked up to be? Instead, they decide to accuse Conservatives of a cyber-attack. Everyone of them are useless scum, who are a waste of oxygen. The problems with the Obamacare sites are just proof that this crap is far from being ready, and the Dems spent more time patting themselves on the back than making sure it was ready. This, just like the shut down, are all on the failures of the Democrats.

    • Paul

      his c0ck is buried to the hilt down their throats. it is that simple.

    • silverzone

      They will probably blame whole Obamacare mess on Bush and republicans, when they find out that they got screwed and there is no free healthcare.

  • Marcy Cook

    If we were that powerful sweetie you wouldn’t be allowed to tweet from your parent’s basement and we’d make you eat meat.

  • Republicanvet

    Hey proggies, I think the Preezy’s NSA are working extra hard today.
    Oh, and I hear HAARP is involved…

  • mambome

    I’m surprised that they went straight to claiming it was a DOS. Come on libs, where are the “SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE NEED AFFORDABLE INSURANCE!!!” memes?

    • Republicanvet

      That excuse may follow after they accuse the right for shutting down the servers because we finally believed their blather about how good UrkelCare is…and we all decided to sign up at once.
      Hey proggies…you’re only supposed to sign up on Wednesdays. Tuesdays are for independents, Wednesdays for progs, Thursdays for barking moonbats, etc.

  • Jack Deth

    Memo to leftist morons.

    “To screw up. All you need an engineer.

    To screw up really badly you need a government employee working with a senseless bureaucracy!”

  • The Penguin, and his sperm

    Jeebus. It’s always someone else’s fault with these libs.

    • BlahBlah

      I was having glitches and in exasperation I opened up the computer. Shockingly inside I found 4 fat penguins eating mah bytes. DO YOU HAPPEN 2 NO ANYTHING ABOUT DAT

      • The Penguin

        heh heh. So…what fate has befallen said fat penguins?

        • BlahBlah

          Slow cooker? *wrings hands*

          • The Penguin

            sick Blah!

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      …you quit slippin’ ’round tellin the truth, now ya’ here! 😉

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Just lol! lol!…Oh the Feral freakouts and paranoia they are sooo showing of the Constitution continues…
    Their Scholarly 0/Communist Saul Alinski Rules for Radicals and Tactical-ist has really foamed out of their feverish fomenting mouths.
    They’ve been pardoned from 0BamaCare, yet we haven’t…They be Diggin’ in to get mo’ money, that’s what Saul’s do.

  • CO2 Producer

    Denial of Service attack? No, the ACA is doing a good enough job of that on its own (ref.: dropped insurance form letters).

  • Drifter

    So who didn’t see this coming???

    • Republicanvet

      ….leftist nitwits tweeting about it.

      They should have expected it. Crawl out of mom’s basement at noon and expect instant service.

    • Worship Dancer

      libturds and low info voters?

  • Chevypowered

    It’s never their damn fault is it?

  • QueenB ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    So wait….just want to be sure I have this straight…..republicans are totally stupid, yet able to bring down the greatest thing ever, built by (and oh yes, Obama, you built that) the smartest guy in the room.

    • Steven A

      Remember, these are the same people who could simultaneously call Pres. Bush dumb as a chimp and the greatest war-criminal-mastermind the world has ever seen. Duplicity is not their weak suit.

  • Jack Deth

    That’s right!

    We got Phineas, Free Wheelin’ Franklin, Fat Freddy and Fat Freddy’s Cat to sabotage a multi-layered and encrypted database!

    We also have Harold Hedd and on deck. And Mr. Natural waiting in the bullpen.

    • rosetta_stoned

      A Freak Brothers reference. Well done.

      • mike_in_kosovo

        When I see “Freak Brothers”, I think Carl and Roger Nelson…lol

    • Jay Stevens

      “We got Phineas, Free Wheelin’ Franklin, Fat Freddy and Fat Freddy’s Cat to sabotage a multi-layered and encrypted database!”

      That leaked a bunch of confidential patient records.

  • toddm123

    Now what is it? I hear that we on the right side are too stupid to walk upright, yet we have hacked Obama’s website. Make up your damn minds moron lefties!

  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    LOL

    Yes, a DOS attack explains why the site loads completely but does not allow anyone to sign up. It also explains why the drop down security questions are unpopulated.

    Also, unicorns.

    • John Galt

      Exactly!

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      You and we are definitely wired Right!

  • TJ

    JavaScript code error is not a result of a DOS attack. There could be a DOS attack but only for kicks and the fun of it not a conspiracy.

  • John Galt

    Really. This is what the left has: a DoS attack. It doesn’t even apply to the problems being experienced.

  • Macharius

    People have no idea what a DoS or a DDoS is do they? This is not a hallmark of a DoS attack….This is just bad programming

    • John Galt

      I agree. Most likely terrible code. You don’t even need to see the server code to know it’s pretty amateur. “.language-resource .card h2” It is over scoped and not location independent. It is not D.R.Y. Bigger network footprint than needed. It would make my students cry.

      • Macharius

        if(oCareWorking()==true)
        {System.out.println(“Success”);}
        else { a=1; while(a<=52000) {System.out.println("HACKING OMGZ"); a++}}

        (sorry, been a looong time since I took Java)

    • http://amandakmelson.wordpress.com/ GreenEyedGal

      I freely admit I have no idea what a DoS or a DDoS is, and I’m a Conservative! But I think I understand hackers do it and the left is accusing us of doing it to they system the government rolled out, which is ridiculous. If they weren’t so no-info, if the press didn’t insist on spoon feeding lies to the general public, they know this administration is only competent at being incompetent. No hacking. No nefarious plan. Just a lot of the worst the country has to offer working behind the scenes to make this country the worst the world has to offer.

    • Al’s Grandpa ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Rachris Maddow-Hayes tweet says it all, and it has no idea why it’s post sums it up nicely:

      “No private sector new product launch or website has ever encountered problems that I’m aware of.”

  • Kele Johnson

    I KNEW that the ineptness of this whole Obamacare mess would somehow be laid at the foot of Conservatives. I predicted it first thing this morning when I saw all of the website problems people were having.

    • miguel

      Please…libtards,this P.O.S. Ocrap will fail all by its lonesome…besides only the left pulls underhanded stunts like that

  • lesterwink23

    Been handing out a lot of these lately…

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      still rollin’ over laughin’!

  • Joe W.

    You just cannot make this idiocy up, my friends. Typical Obama drones.

  • LinTaylor ✓vitrified

    Dear Lefties, when Chris Hayes has to be your voice of reason, that’s your sign to STFU and seek professional help.

  • The Jackal

    What fucking planet do these people live on. This gets funnier & funnier by the day. These Libtards are out of their fucking minds! This is some of the stupidest shit I’ve heard yet. If these idiots had a brain they’d be dangerous!

  • jukin

    Orrrrrr maybe government doesn’t do things very well because they don’t have to.

    This, ladies and gentlemen, is precursor to how poorly and expensive Obama HellCare is going to be. Even the senile old democrat senator knew it would be a train wreck.

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      Yep, workin’ on Single Payer!

  • ⚓ Dave S ⚓

    Yes, rooms of blue-haired elderly women launching a DoS attack.

  • cmazzJK

    Hahaha, who’s the conspiracy wing bat tin foil hat wearing bunch of douche bags now?

  • kateorjane

    Libs – too stupid to accept that Obamacare was designed by incompetents.

  • shrgngatlas

    Hahahahahaha! I’ve been writing comments claiming this same thing! (sarcasm, of course) I should have known the loons would actually believe it.

  • BlahBlah

    OK FINE I WILL ADMIT I stuck a safety pin in the internet cable.

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      BlahBlah, that be PinPrick. Like “0” u c h i e…Yay?

      • BlahBlah

        IT WUZ AN EXCIDENT!!!11

  • LegalizeShemp

    Never wish for failure, makes you look bad, unless you’re saying, “The surge has failed, Bush is creating more terrorists!”. That kind of fail cheering is perfectly OK.

    • jeanie6

      Do not understand your mangled post, but would point out that another ‘surge’ was Afghanistan and it was Obama’s baby. It seems to have created lots of terrorists too.

      • The Penguin

        Pretty sure Shemp was being sarcastic there jeanie.

        • jeanie6

          Sorry…hard to tell these days.

          • The Penguin

            It happens.

  • jeanie6

    Trust me. If I knew how I would.

  • Misanthrope

    The website wouldn’t process applications because it didn’t display security questions, and these people think the issue’s a DOS attack?
    Leftism is a mental illness.

    • Friode28

      Of course it’s an attack, they are way too smart to make mistakes that blatant.

  • Justme

    Maybe it’s an omen.

  • jeanie6

    Does Congress and company get their 72 percent health care subsidy while the gov shut down? If you are interested a gov employee told me that without the subsidy his federal health care would cost him 1200 a month for self and wife. With subsidy, a little over 3 hundred each or between 6 and 7 hundred…for a pretty good plan. When the penalties for cadillac plans kicks in these ‘special’ folks and Congress will give themselves a raise I’m sure. No one cares about the inequities as long as they’ve got theirs. Is there no way to rid ourselves of these? Meanwhile Dems, enjoy your 3rd rate bronze plan for same price.

  • Bozo Sapien

    I hear George W. Bush purchased 1000 personal computers last week. Any members of MSNBC’s news room feel free to contact me and I’ll go on air with you. My name is B. Booey.

  • Justme

    It’s an omen

  • Junie3

    What has this crew not screwed up?

    • http://theextremeattitude.com/ Mark Tipton

      Our demise?

  • Thomas, Snarkmaster General

    Hmmm…how do Leftists know so much about partisan DOS attacks? I’m asking for a friend.

    Seriously, I don’t think Republicans/TEA Party members are responsible for the health insurance exchanges not working. Why? Because Republicans/TEA Party members are too busy working during the day to bother with that kind of foolishness.

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    Lol, bless their little hearts.

  • Just Another Guy

    But, but….we’re ignnerrant bible thumpin’ gun totin’ savages…how could we possibly be smart enough to do that?

    Can’t have it both ways. Well, yes you can….if you are Liberal and the media has your back.

    • Acethepug

      Sure they can.

      Raising the Debt Ceiling under Bush? Bad. Under Obama? Good.

      Lather, rinse, repeat. And remember, to a Lefty, it’s okay when *they* do it!

      • sodakhic

        Lefty thinking, waterboarding a no-no, drone incineration, super dooper.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    did our voodoo work?

  • Acethepug

    I love all these brain-trusts assuming it’s a conspiracy, and not the usual half-assed Obama lack of effort.

    Really, a couple million hits sends a Healthcare site spiraling out of control? Funny how sites like eBay, Amazon, and the like manage that EVERY DAY. And how long and how much money has Obamacare had access to for making this happen? But somehow, magically, mystically, it’s that horrible Tea Party … can you imagine how many leaps of illogic you need to make to make posts like the barely-sentient ones above?

    Ah, but Logic and Reason are beyond the Libbies, aren’t they?

    They are saying this because, were they on the other end, they WOULD be trying Denial of Service attacks.

    Whenever a Libbie accuses anyone of anything, it’s because they are already doing it, or planning to do it. Always.

  • DrSamHerman

    My, but the Koch Brothers have been busy with denial of service attacks on the Obamacare website, releasing all of those greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, denying minorities the vote and parking in handicapped spots.

    /sarcasm off

    • JR48

      While pulling the tags off of mattresses in department stores.

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    Wow, these people make 9/11 truthers sound rational… and 9/11 truthers are pretty f***ed up.

  • Jonathan Biviano

    So which is it? At elections they tell us we lose because we don’t know the latest tech. Now all of the sudden the right wing has hackers?
    The only DoS attack was from the millions of Obama Phones trying to get them some “free” healtcare for their obesity.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDUvqXK4DEM DCinAZ

    So…….there is a room somewhere full of geriatric, white, 70 yr old, dying tea partiers hacking into government websites causing denial of service attacks? Got it.

  • Jerry Cat

    That would mean that a lot of people used their work computers and on-the-job time to try to do a DOS. Someone must be confusing conservative/tea party people with the leftist Occupy/Anarchist Idiots who do not work and have tons of time to do a DOS.

  • Stephen L. Hall

    It really is sad that so many of these people can go through life believing that their fellow Americans are nothing short of evil, of course, I believe that about them, but that’s different . . . I think.

  • sodakhic

    Yeah that’s what lily livered libs think because that is EXACTLY what they would do.

    • Casca

      No one is more afraid of a thief THAN a thief

  • j95lee

    What’s hilarious is that O-care critics have voiced concerns over the hackability of the exchange websites for months.

  • John Alvarado

    Isn’t funny that the crazy left blames the GOP for the hacking when Occupy Wall Street has hacked a lot of government websites.

  • RedSoloCup

    Another example of the LIV crowd stuck in their own fantasy world. Especially “Paul Pi-mental”.

  • Derek Penner

    TEAnonymous?

  • jaun456

    Teapartiers were too busy working to take time to do a D.O.S .

  • MNWoman

    So if the Tea Party can wage a cyber-attack on OCare sites like these liberal idiots think, please explain to me how I can trust these sites with my personal information.

  • JR48

    The average tea partier is old enough to be the parents of these yahoos. Mom and Dad can’t program the ringtone on their cell phones, let alone a DOS attack. They don’t even know what a DOS attack, is.

    But hey, carry on with the complete and utter lack of responsibility for anything on the planet. Narcissists, who couldn’t possibly make a mistake or screw anything up. Blame anything and everything on someone else.

    Seriously stuck on stupid.

  • $9844146

    Libturds suffering from a denial of reality attack.

  • rssllue

    Um, wow. The mental energy expended in the total of those combined tweets is astronomical! Nanotechnology at its finest!

  • http://alankhenderson.blogspot.com/ alanhenderson

    How can we be crashing the Obamacare website if we’re too busy reading James Woods tweets?

    http://twitchy.com/2013/10/01/shutdown-swoon-actor-james-woods-has-a-question-for-the-irs-slams-obama/

  • BAW

    The clown that wrote:

    “A DOS attack really isn’t that difficult to orchestrate!”

    Made my point for me. They are the ones who know all about that sort of illegal tactic, they know how it’s done, they would do it, probably have done it, we would not.

    But it is kind of fun for them to think every thing that goes wrong is because of our evil genius. Now we just need to get them thinking we’re watching them.

  • https://twitter.com/UnicornOfMayhem Hi This Is My Username

    LOL!

    Are these people for real?

  • Ed Dantes

    This is epic, one minute conservatives are backwoods, racist hillbillies, the next minute they are sophisticated cyber-criminals.

    • therantinggeek

      Personally, I’m surprised most of those Leftists even know what a DoS attack is. And the correct term is actually “DDoS”, or distributed denial-of-service. A DoS attack usually originates from a single vector, whereas a DDoS stems from multiple vectors. And I’ve love to see those so-called “Internet experts” come up with substantial, credible evidence that the new healthcare site was a victim of a “DoS attack.”

      If what I’ve heard about the number of visits on the site was true, that just means it couldn’t handle the sheer amount of network traffic hitting it all at once. Empty drop-down menus? Sorry, Leftists, that’s not a bandwidth issue, that’s a source code issue. Blame the code monkeys for that. Can’t register or create an account? Chances are there’s a massive SQL database on the backend, and some tables are locked or can’t be written to. Blame the SQL Database Admins for the glitch. 500 error? Server-side issue; could be just about anything that’s the root cause. 503 or 504 error? Most likely it’s a bandwidth issue on the server’s end; i.e. the pipe simply isn’t big enough to handle all those requests at once. Hosting provider’s the guilty party in this case.

      Of course, these are Leftists we’re talking about, so naturally instead of yelling at those really responsible, they’ll find a way to blame Bush or blame the GOP.

      • Ed Dantes

        The bandwidth issue I can kind of understand, although if you are expecting millions of folks on the exchange, you should expect to have tremendous volume. The drop down menu and reg errors are unacceptable and should have been caught in the initial coding/testing process. If they didn’t catch the “security question” error in testing, I can’t imagine what they missed on the backend.

        • therantinggeek

          If there was an issue with the security question, that’s almost like leaving the spare key out in the open or under a commonly-checked place, like under the doormat, etc. Security questions are supposed to filter out an actual human versus a computer or “bot”, but given enough time (and effort), they can be overcome.

    • Robin GRAVES

      no.. you’re still just backwoods, racist hillbilly cousin fucking simpletons. carry on.

      • Ed Dantes

        Ah, yes, the typical well-educated elite liberal response. It seems that you have suffered the typical liberal aberration from reality where you believe that only you are wise enough and smart enough to pass judgement on others.

  • porgiefirefighter

    Yesterday I couldn’t spell “denial of service attack”, today I’m doin’ one. Hooray for public education.

    • PublicEnemy2u

      calling in false alarms to a fire department is OK if you don’t get caught, right? Now that’s denial of service you might understand porgiefirefighter

  • americandavey

    I will never understand the left at all. If hackers did an denial of service attack. They would already took credit for it. Hell even change the images on the webpage. The left will never understand that this system was not tested and ready for people for public use. You have over 300+ employers that dumped their workers on the exchange, people just want to see their premiums price from the exchanges that overwhelm a flawed system to a flawed Health Care law that is going to lead us to single pay system, thus ruining healthcare. But it is OK, the left will still cling to Obama and the Democrats while they deny Vets their benefits during a shutdown.

  • J August

    Too busy working to bother with a DOS attack on any site. Anyone actually believe that anything government runs is going to be efficient? And they want us to allow them to run our health care?

  • Dane Gunderson

    It’s a VRWC

  • GulfPundit

    It’s kind of pointless to attack something that’s destroying itself.

  • j p✓ʳᵉᶠʳᶦᵉᵈ

    It reminds me of the get well card I remember from long ago about the uncle who went in for hernia surgery and now he’s my aunt. I suppose the government will be immune from malpractice lawsuits when their screw-ups cause bodily harm.

  • Keith Anthony Warren

    Who’s the

    Conspiracy nutjobs now?? democraps, libtards your days are numbered the American people can see right through you now!!Hillary care i mean obama care is a train wreck!!!!

  • DrSamHerman

    It’s all the fault of Occupy Rodeo Drive

  • chetnapier

    No denial of service will be when someone needs a procedure done when they are too old , too conservative, or too what ever else that the admin doesn’t like.

  • chiefpontiac

    The left is always claiming that the Tea Party is made up of toothless, racist rubes, and now we are to believe that these same toothless, racist rubes are Edward Snowden type hackers?

  • Ruth

    I just love this. This from the same people who like to congratulate themselves on being so sophisticated, Lovey. Now how did those dumb rednecks figure out how to ruin Obama’s big day? (Oh, and racist, I forgot racist) Wow, talk about just really outing yourselves as a bunch of simpletons, ready to believe anything if it’s about those bad wingnuts.

  • Holdmynose

    I thought the Tea Party was too old to know how to turn on a computer. Are those old white guys getting smarter?

  • Falcon D. Stormvoice

    Next up on the excuse list: progs really are the smartest people ever, but right-winger mindhackers have launched a denial-of-intelligence attack against them.